HEARTLINE for Pastor's Wives: 2011

November 15, 2011

FOCUS

There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

The Wife's Respect
based on the book THE EXCELLECT WIFE by Martha Peace

Five Biblical principles that explain the wife's respect for her husband:

1. The wife Is to respect her husband.
The amplified Bible gives further insight into this verse from Ephesians 5:33. “...let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband – and that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.”

2. The wife is to respect his position.
As pastor's wives it may be fairly simple to show respect to our husbands when they are in the pulpit, but what about in his life – at home? The Lord would have us be “thankful in all things...” I Thessalonians 5:18. That means showing respect during the difficult times, such as in his failures. Respect him when he is just in his everyday, ordinary life.

3. The wife is to behave in a respectful manner.
Be especially cautious of your words, tone of voice, and countenance as you speak to your husband. Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up...” Perhaps the most helpful thing you can do is ask your husband to hold you accountable for showing respect to him. Your willingness to let your husband help you in this way, reflects your level of maturity.

4. The wife is to reprove her husband respectfully.
If your husband is doing something wrong, and a reproof is needed, so so gently and privately in order to restore him to a right relationship with God. Scripture says, “Love … does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth...” I Corinthians 13:5,6.

5. The wife who is disrespectful may experience severe consequences.
The most likely consequence to disrespect would be a rebuke from your husband because he has the responsibility before God to reprove you - “...if someone is caught in sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.” After all, disrespect toward your husband is a sin! Or he may respond by feeling hurt, pouting, becoming bitter, angry, abusive, or defensive. None of us wants that, do we. Additionally, disrespecting our husband tarnishes the reputation of the Lord Jesus Christ since our response to our husbands should be, “...as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18.)

Treating your husband with respect is not based on his merit, he doesn't have to first earn it. Respect is something you choose to give him, it's a heart attitude. On page 115 of the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE there is a self-assessment that would be beneficial for all. The book is worth buying, if for no other reason than to gauge your own personal level of respect. If you find yourself guilty of the sin of disrespecting your husband, confess it to God, realizing He will be “faithful and just to forgive...” (I John 1:9) and ask your husband's forgiveness too.

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

The Issue of Anger

Anger is a tough subject to write on because it can entail so many other emotions such as forgiveness, resentment and many more. With God’s help only can we understand this word.

We can suppress a lot of things in our lives and then explode. Sometimes the explosion is not even involving the person that you exploded to. But it seems like the cap comes off or we have had enough and the suppression of some anger issues comes out. Do not let the sun go down before the anger is settled.

Sometimes we feel people owe something to us and then the issue is who are we looking at. Then anger piles up like a lot of building blocks and as soon as it is moved it topples over and spills out.

A giving person gives and gives and if the root of that giving gets destroyed that giving turns to non giving and then it turns to resentment which in turn turns to anger

God wants us to give everything to Him, even our anger. When anger strikes our soul we should always take it to the Lord immediately. Obedience is a decision we make. Obedience is immediate. When anger is gripping our soul we have to obey and give it to the Lord immediately. Rebellion is opposite of obedience. So if rebellion takes over and we do not want to give the anger over to the Lord we then are not being obedient.

Colossians 3:8 says “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.” Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you.”

These above verses speak to me. I am a Christian woman and I am to obey God’s word. His words above are what I am to do. He is not asking me if I would like to put away my anger. No, He says “Put away” which a command. As a Christian woman I have already made the choice to follow God. So in that choice I have to obey Him in everything. Not a have to with a rebellious spirit but a have to because I want Him to be in charge of my life. So as I write this the tears roll down my face and say “yes, lord I will put away my anger.” I want Jesus to be the center of my life and that means in this also.” “You take charge of that issue.”

Then a peace comes over our hearts and our souls are healed. “I will listen Lord to your commands.” Having peace in our souls is such wonderful refreshment.

CHECK IT OUT

Those Prepared are Usually Spared

As pastor’s wives we are placed in the special position of getting asked lots of questions seeking advice on a variety of topics. One subject that I have been asked about, is how do we protect our children and church's children from child predators. Most likely the question has come up in your church family. This is a difficult subject with one reason being the fact that the majority of child predators are family and friends. It’s not enough to tell our young to be wary of strangers. Our children are gifts from God. We need not leave these precious treasures defenseless but rather should arm them with information and instruction in how to identify and respond if a sexual predator makes an advance.

Several years ago, two books came to my attention(which I now recommend) which deal with this delicate issue. They are, Samuel Learns to Yell and Tell and Sara Sue Learns To Yell and Tell, by the Christian author Debi Pearl. These books are directed toward the young child up through early adolescence. Yell & Tell are written in a musical rhyme much like the old Concordia children’s books . Young Samuel is discreetly challenged by his mother and Sara Sue instructs her little sister to consider how to respond if faced with situations concerning sexual advances. More information is in the back of the book directed at parents. We are admonished to be wise and proactive, but not paranoid. One point that struck me was that if we as parents and churches are open with the fact that our children are on the alert for unwanted advances, and that they will “yell and tell” that predators will be less likely to strike our church or family. This is not a subject to be quiet about.

Samuel Learns to Yell & Tell is written from a Christian perspective with biblical encouragement, while Sara Sue Learns to Yell & Tell is directed towards the wider audience. I would encourage every family to own the set and to read them many times over. Giving a child this simple knowledge is arming them with wisdom to always yell and always tell. I was happy to find these books and put them in my library. They can be used as another tool given to parents as they seek to protect their children from those who would do them harm. The old adages “knowledge is power,” and forewarned is forearmed” holds true. It is only after you recognize the enemy that you can formulate an effective campaign against him. May we daily uphold our children in pray and seek His wisdom in how we are to guide and protect them . These books are available online on Amazon and www.nogreaterjoy.org

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

MOVING ON UP, OVER, AND AWAY

Most of us as will find our families making several moves during the years our husbands serve as pastors. Sometimes these moves are welcomed and anticipated, other times they are unwanted and difficult. Whatever the circumstances of the change of address for our families, we can take some practical steps to make the transition from one home to the next easier.

One of the best pieces of moving advice given to me, has been to take time to say good-bye to people and places. It's important to say those words of thanks and love to those who have blessed you during your stay at a congregation. It's important to acknowledge, and let your children express any sorrow they have at moving. It's often been said that children are resilient, and this is true to a point. However, it is very important we provide a safe, accepting environment to allow our families to share their varying emotions regarding a move. If time allows, it's also helpful to take "one last trip" to that special park, restaurant, or lake where your family created memories.

Planning is the #1 key in preparing for a successful move. Keeping a notebook or calendar with projects to be completed by a certain date can be a great motivator and organizational tool. It can be helpful to remember three words while preparing for a move - Purge, Preserve, and Pass-it-on. Get three boxes ready for each room of your house and fill them up. If you're goal is to fill up three boxes a day, think of how easily you'll be packed by moving day. Sometimes it helps to have a friend sit with you and ask you, "Are you really going to use this?" or, "Is this really worth the effort of packing, hauling, and unpacking?" If you're decision is to preserve an item, pack it carefully with like items and label it well so it's easy to find again. Consider giving "pass-it-on" items to friends who would appreciate them. If you have enough time before a move, a garage sale is a great way to earn some extra cash to set up house in your new location. Get pre-priced stickers and mark items for sale as you place them in your purge box. If time and energy are in short supply, donate items to your favorite local charity or thrift store.

Once those boxes are all packed and moving day has arrived, make the day flows as easily as possible for your family and for those helping you. Before helpers arrive, double check and make sure all boxes are clearly marked (according to room and type of items) and securely taped. Have items that are fragile labeled as such with a different color marker and put two people whom you know will handle those boxes with TLC in charge of them. If you have furniture that is disassembled before moving, put all necessary hardware into a sealed baggy and securely tape it to the furniture. If you have little ones at home, set up a babysitter (at their home) ahead of time. The commotion of moving is stressful not just on Mom and Dad, but on children as well. Provide your family and friends with plenty of drinks, and nutritious snacks or sandwiches to keep energy levels high. As a room is emptied, clean it and shut the door. If you have even two friends willing to help you clean as rooms are vacant, your cleaning time will go efficiently.

When you arrive at your new home's door, there are steps that can make unloading easier as well. Consider taking some paper signs labeled for each room so people know where to put boxes. It saves so much time to have boxes delivered right to the kitchen or bedroom so setting those rooms go smoother. If you're moving into a home with light carpets, or it's simply a muddy time of year, buy plastic sheeting to lay down on the floor to keep your new home's pathways cleaner. Again, provide healthy snacks and beverages for those helping you set up your new home. End your day with thanking God for your former home, and asking His blessing on your new one!

IDEAS THAT WORK

DID YOU KNOW . . .

· Health is a three-legged stool? Supplements, Diet, Exercise/Rest. One leg gone and your health will teeter.

· Supplements are to be taken according to each individual’s needs? Common needs: multi-vitamins, extra vitamin C, essential oils (i.e., fish, flax, coconut, etc.), fiber (i.e., ground flax, bran, etc.)

· What you put into your mouth matters? High quality, whole foods are essential. Buy or grow organic fruits and vegetables. Buy or raise free range, wild caught, hormone free meats. Bake your own bread. Get a blood test to determine your intolerable or allergenic foods. Your weight will come into balance once those foods are eliminated! Drink 8 to 10 glasses purified water a day to flush out toxins and help maintain bodily functions. Before eating or drinking ask yourself, “Will this substance harm or help my body?”

· There is a balance needed for exercise and rest? Our bodies were made to move. To maintain health and weight, 30 to 60 minutes of aerobic exercise a day. To lose weight, 60+ minutes aerobic exercise a day. After 20 minutes of aerobic exercise, your body begins to burn fat. Weight bearing and stretching exercises three times a week. Muscle burns fat. Rest 8 to 10 hours a night to rebuild your body and allow your immune system to work.

· Trying to determine your health needs on your own is like trying to shoot at targets with a blindfold (it can be difficult, even if you are well read)? You may or may not hit your needs. It is best to check with a naturopathic doctor (ND) for your specific needs, especially if you are suffering from some physical issues. (www.naturopathic.org)

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge...” Hosea 4:6

KEY TO HEALTH: Application of good knowledge.

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING

Pan-Fried Onion Dip

Yield: About 2 cups of dip
Prep Time: 40 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes

2 large yellow onions
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
¼ cup vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon ground black pepper
4 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

½ cup sour cream
½ cup mayonnaise

1. Cut the onions in half and then slice them into 1/8-inch thick half-rounds (will result in about 3 cups of onions). Heat the butter and oil in a large sauté pan over medium heat. Add the onions, cayenne, salt and pepper and sauté for 10 minutes. Reduce the heat to medium-low and cook, stirring occasionally, for 20 to 30 more minutes until the onions are browned and caramelized. Allow the onions to cool.

2. Place the cream cheese, sour cream and mayonnaise in the bowl of an electric mixer and beat until smooth. Add the onions and mix well. Serve at room temperature. Refrigerate any leftovers.

Honey-Oatmeal Sandwich Bread

Yield: One (1) 9×5-inch loaf

Mix Time: 20 minutes
Total Rise Time: 2½ hours
Bake Time: 45 minutes

1¼ cups (10 ounces) boiling water
1 cup (3½ ounces) old-fashioned rolled oats

2 tablespoons (1 ounce) unsalted butter, cut into 3 pieces

1½ teaspoons salt 
¼ cup (3 ounces) honey
1 cup (4 ounces) whole wheat flour
1-2/3 cups (7 ounces) all-purpose flour
¼ cup (1 ounce) nonfat dry milk
2 teaspoons instant yeast

1. Place the boiling water, oats, butter, salt and honey into a medium bowl, stir, and let the mixture cool to lukewarm.

2. Mix the remaining dough ingredients with the oat mixture, and knead – by hand, mixer or bread machine – until you’ve made a soft, smooth dough. Place the dough in a lightly greased bowl, cover it, and let it rise for 1 hour; the dough should be doubled in bulk.

3. Lightly grease a 9×5-inch loaf pan. Gently deflate the dough – it’ll be sticky, so oil your hands – and shape it into a 9-inch log. Place it in the prepared pan. Cover it gently with lightly greased plastic wrap, and allow it to rise until it has crowned 1½ inches over the rim of the pan, about 1 to 1½ hours. Near the end of the bread’s rising time, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

4. Uncover and bake the bread for about 45 minutes, tenting it with foil after 20 minutes to prevent over-browning. The bread is done when it’s golden brown and an instant-read thermometer inserted in the center registers 190 degrees F. Remove it from the oven, and after a minute or so turn it out onto a rack. Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with additional oats. Cool the bread completely before cutting it.

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,
When I wake in the morning, may I ask You to remind me of Your desire for me to respect my husband. May my words and actions towards him be ones that show respect. When I speak about him to others, may my words not be ones that tear him down, but that build him up. May the looks that I give him be given with eyes of love and honor, and not with scorn and ridicule. May I respect him for who You made him to be, and not for who I think he ought to be. May my love and reverence for You, be reflected in the love and reverence I hold for my husband.
In your precious name,
Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

An Interview with Cheryl Skordahl

Cheryl Skordahl lives in Pipestone, Minnesota. Her husband Dave Skordahl serves as part-time Associate Pastor at Christ the King Free Lutheran Church in Pipestone. Cheryl is her husband’s helper! She helps him by keeping their home clean and orderly; and also prepares healthy and nutritious meals. She sends him off in the morning with a yummy breakfast and a big kiss! They have two married children and seven grandchildren.

When I asked Cheryl what she thought her ministry was now at Christ the King Free Lutheran Church she said, “Since both of our children are grown and I don’t work outside the home, I am grateful to have lots of time to also work within the church.” “I was asked to be the coordinator of the Cradle Roll.” She said, “Which I accepted wholeheartedly as a ministry to the young families at our church.” In addition to giving Bibles at the time of baptism and distributing the Cradle Roll brochures Cheryl also organizes a meal to be delivered at the time of birth and pays special attention to visiting with the young moms at the church. “ In the future,” she said “I plan to organize a get-together time for young moms and their preschool children.” “ In addition to Cradle Roll, I am on the Campus Vision Team – a team the congregation elected to review the church building structure and make recommendations for changes to the Board of Trustees.” I also am on the Church Decorating Team.”

I asked Cheryl the question if she were to encourage our pastor’s wives or Seminettes what words of encouragement would she say? “ The words I would use to encourage all Pastor’s wives and Seminettes would be to listen and obey the Word of the Lord.” “Then,” she said, “Do all you can whenever you can to further the Kingdom of God.” Cheryl said, “Since there are different phases in life, the “doing” will be different from time to time.” “When the children are young, build the Kingdom of God in them.” “Later,” she said, “will come a time to spread your wings and move beyond the home.” “Remember, she said, “throughout all of life, your responsibility lies in hearing the Word of the Lord and obeying it through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I asked Cheryl to share with us her favorite verse from scripture. She shared Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Thank you Cheryl, for these uplifting and encouraging words.

September 10, 2011

FOCUS

The Excellent Wife

WORDS TO INSPIRE

LOVE, the WIFE’S C H O I C E
From the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace

Did you notice the emphasis on the word “Choice?” How could you help but notice? It could be an insignificant word, but I “chose” to give it emphasis. No matter what has happened between a husband and wife, if we choose to ask, the Lord can give love for each other that was never dreamed possible. We need only ask, and the Lord will give.

Even under trying circumstances, we can show love to our husbands because God’s “grace is sufficient” (II Corinthians 12:9). God will give us supernatural power (grace) to show love, if we obey God by thinking loving thoughts and doing loving actions toward our husbands. There are times when we need to put our feelings on the shelf, even go directly against feelings and do what we know is right – showing and acting love to our husbands.

Martha Peace says, that when godly love is expressed between husband and wife, they will often experience tender feelings and a sweetness that they never experienced during the early years of “romantic” love.

We as women are usually good at choosing to be neighborly – sharing a cup of sugar, giving garden transplants, getting together for no other reason than just to be together. “Love your neighbor” is the way the Bible says it in Matthew 22:39. We are reminded to give our husband’s this same kind of consideration. She says, in fact, that our husbands are our closest neighbors! Wow, that’s worth our consideration, isn’t it?

The author teaches that there are three categories of sin that will destroy love in a marriage: Selfishness, bitterness or fear – and often a combination of these three.

Selfishness: It is revolutionary in our American culture today to hear someone express the “Deny yourself” concept. The idea of “Putting others first” is so foreign. Yet that is exactly what God asks us to do. If husbands and wives are to have joy and fulfillment in marriage, each must put themselves aside and place God and others first.

Bitterness: Wives may express that they feel “hurt” and “resentful” toward their husbands. These emotions are how women feel when they are bitter. If you feel ungrateful, vengeful, have a loss of joy or excessive sorrow, are critical or brooding – you may be manifesting bitterness. Since bitterness hinders biblical love, ask the Lord to reveal the percentage of your fault, then take responsibility for that percentage by the “Put Off-Put On” method as recorded in Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart… and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

Fear: A common struggle for many wives, fear makes it difficult to love our husbands. Whether the fear may be that he will die, leave you, or even abuse you in some way, the key to overcoming fear is to trust God and love your husband. I Peter 3:6 says “do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”

Love is the character quality on which we must concentrate. Memorize I Corinthians 13:4-7 and write out each aspect of love within this Scripture. What concrete ways can you express love to your husband through your thoughts or your actions?

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

A WIFE’S LONELINESS

There are many examples of loneliness in the Bible. Some of these are Elijah, Jeremiah and Paul. There are also many reasons for loneliness. One woman’s loneliness may not be another woman’s.

Loneliness just like anything else can become the main thought pattern of your life. When it becomes the only thing you dwell on it will draw you away from the Lord.
It will capture you. That is when the focus becomes on us and not on the Lord. The tempter then can take us into many areas of loneliness but we must remember that the Lord can overcome these things. He is powerful. Sometimes we get so ensnared in the loneliness that we cannot focus on what the Lord can do for us to help us with the loneliness.

There is a chorus of a song I like to sing when I am lonely.

You’ll never be lonely again never again.
If you will open your hearts door to Him,
He will brush away your tears and forget your
Foolish fears, you’ll never be lonely again.
Never Again.

Now some may say, this little chorus is talking about coming to know Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord. The songwriter may have been talking about that but for me, when I am lonely there are many different things that make me lonely. Sometimes it is tears and sometimes it is foolish fears. If I open my heart to Him I won’t be lonely. The circumstances may not have changed around me but I will feel and know His presence and I will feel peaceful.

There are many Bible verses that we can use during our lonely times.

Psalm 9:9,10 says The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For you, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Those are powerful words for any of us who suffer with loneliness. Be aware that loneliness can be a struggle that we deal with all of our lives but also be aware that God is the one to give the victory during those lonely times. He wants to hear you say to Him that you are lonely and that you need Him to help you. Don’t delay always pray.

CHECK IT OUT

Life Interrupted, Navigating the Unexpected
By Priscilla Shirer

I don’t usually select a book because of it’s title, but the title of this book caught my interest. In Life Interrupted Navigating the Unexpected Priscilla Shirer wants to help us see that life’s interruptions are really God’s divine interruptions. In our lives when something doesn’t go the way we planned we often blame God for this interruption in our life. Priscilla reminds us that God is there, “He is right in the middle of every interruption.”

By taking an in depth look at Jonah and how he dealt with the interruptions in his life, Ms. Shirer shows us how we need to seek God’s forgiveness for our sin and allow God to use these interruptions for His glory. She also reminds us that our God is a God of second chances.

This paragraph from the book sums it up pretty well, “My purpose in writing this book is primarily to help folks like you and me learn how to see our life interruptions as divine interventions and begin surrendering to the authority and sovereignty of the Lord Jesus Christ. I also want to remind us to receive and respond well to our second chances when we’ve blown the first ones.”

I wasn’t expecting to learn so many lessons from the life of Jonah, but the author has done a good job of showing me how I need to learn from Jonah and let God have control of my life’s interruptions.

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

Falling Forward

Fall is in the air! Here in the UP of Michigan, the leaves are at the very beginning stages of displaying their beautiful autumnal tones. The evenings are getting cooler, the air is getting crisper, and before we know it our church and family schedules will follow their new Fall agendas. It's a great time of year for new starts in terms of our home habits and organizational plans.

I'm sure you've noticed that there are many totes, baskets, bins, and bulletin boards on the market. Sales are in swing now as students prepare for their academic year. Managers of the home - take advantage of these good markdowns and products in helping your home function more smoothly.

I've read two pieces of advice when it comes to storage of items family used on a seasonal basis and for keepsake items that aren't on everyday display. The first was to keep labeled cardboard boxes in the garage. I did this for a few years and decided it was not the best system. The boxes got dusty from being in the garage, temperatures fluctuated from lows to highs, and in some regions bugs feasted on cardboard. The next tip I found was the best. Use transparent plastic totes with self locking lids. It's still a great idea to label the totes with an adhesive sticker and a sharpie marker, however being able to glance through the tote's walls and see what's inside saves a lot of time hunting and pecking when you're searching for an item.

A great tool for keeping track of school papers/medical records/receipts is an expandable pocket folder. I've lost more time than I care to think about looking for an important paper I sat down in a special place so I wouldn't lose it, only to not remember where that special place was. There are many bright and cheery colored folders to choose from, and the usually run around $3.00. Choose a different color for each category of papers you need to keep track of and store them all in one place.

Calendars are another tool that make the running of the home easier. I have found that the super large perforated paper ones that you can find at your local super store for under $5 work the best. Have the current month up where everyone can see it. For us that's on the side of the refrigerator. Those big sheets give ample room to record everyone's comings and goings.

I pray as we fall forward into Fall, it will be a with a renewed zeal, joy, and commitment in serving our families for His glory.

IDEAS THAT WORK

HEALTH for BODY (Physical), SOUL (Mind, Will, Emotions), SPIRIT (Spiritual)

MAGNESIUM

The average American does not consume enough magnesium. 90-95% are deficient in magnesium. Magnesium is the most important mineral in your body and participates in over 300 hormonal reactions!

Magnesium deficiencies lead to: insomnia, sleep-disorders, fatigue, body-tension, headaches, heart-disorders, low energy, high blood pressure, PMS, muscle tension, backaches, constipation, kidney stones, osteoporosis, accelerated aging, depression, irregular heartbeat, anxiety, muscle cramps, spasms, irritability, eye twitches, neck pain, difficulty swallowing or lump in throat after eating sugar, loud noise sensitivity, uptightness, salt cravings, chocolate cravings, etc. Consuming proper levels of magnesium relieves all the above problems and also helps: prevent and reverse kidney stone formation, relieve fibromyalgia and chronic pain, treat asthma and emphysema, etc.

The recommended daily allowance is of magnesium is 320 mg for women and 400 mg for men. Ideally, we should be getting 500 – 700 mg per day. People with chronic kidney failure should be careful with magnesium because toxic build up could occur; however, it is difficult to reach toxic levels with people who have normal kidneys. You will know if you have too much because the result will be diarrhea. Easy fix – just back off on the amount of magnesium. Magnesium and calcium intake needs to be about 1 to 2 ratio. If you take 500 mg magnesium supplements then you should take 1000 mg calcium supplements. You may need to adjust if you get good amounts from your diet.

Magnesium rich foods include a variety of whole foods, nuts, seeds and green vegetables. AVOID: refined processed foods.

Supplement with magnesium citrate. Peter Gilliam’s CALM or Magna Calm are two excellent products; used on a short-term basis because magnesium from foods is best.

Yogurt and probiotics help build beneficial bacteria and yeast in your intestines which help absorb magnesium. 1 T. Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar in ½ cup filtered water ½ hour before meals helps magnesium absorption too.

Get your calcium/magnesium levels corrected and most of your medical symptoms will disappear.

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING

Chicken and Biscuit Pie

Ingredients
FILLING:
4 tablespoons butter
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 rib celery, finely chopped
1/3 cup flour
1 1/2 cups chicken stock
1 1/2 cups whole milk
1/2 teaspoon dried sage
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
2 1/2 cups diced cooked chicken
2 cups vegetables of your choice (left-overs or frozen ones that have been thawed)
Salt and pepper

BISCUIT TOPPING
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/4-inch pieces
3/4 cup milk

Instructions
Melt the butter on the stovetop in a Dutch oven or other oven-safe sauté pan with high sides. Stir in the onion and celery, then cover the pan and cook them for 7 to 8 minutes over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Add the flour, stirring for 1 to 2 minutes to lightly brown it.

Whisk the chicken stock into the pan. When it starts to thicken, whisk in the milk. Add the sage, thyme, chicken, and vegetables, continuing to stir until the mixture is heated through, about 5 to 7 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Remove the pan from the stovetop and heat the oven to 375 F. Meanwhile, make the biscuit topping by combining the flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a mixing bowl. Add the butter and use your fingertips to rub it into the dry ingredients. Add the milk and stir briskly, just until the dough pulls together.

Flour your work surface and turn the dough onto it. Using floured hands, knead the dough two or three times, then flatten it to about 1/2 inch thick. Using a small round cutter, cut the dough into biscuits and place as many as will fit, barely touching, on top of the filling. (You can bake any extras separately, on a lightly greased pie plate, for about 15 minutes.)

Bake the potpie until the biscuits are golden brown and the filling is bubbly, about 20 to 30 minutes. Then let it cool for 5 to 10 minutes before serving it. Makes 6 to 8 servings

Recipes by Disney family fun.com

Apple Dumplings

Ingredients
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup dried, sweetened cranberries
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
Premade pastry for an 8- or 9-inch 2 crust pie
4 small, cored baking apples
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup water

Instructions
Combine the raisins, cranberries, walnuts and spices in a bowl and set aside. On a lightly floured cloth-covered surface, roll out the pastry into a 14-inch square, then cut it into 4 squares. Place a cored apple on top of each square and fill the center with the raisin and cranberry mix.

Cover each apple with its pastry square by bringing the opposite corners up over the fruit and pinching them together. Then, seal together all of the pastry edges, moistening them with water if needed. Place the dumplings in a glass baking dish.

In a saucepan, bring the brown sugar and water to a boil, and then pour it over the dumplings (a parent's job). Bake in a preheated 425 degree oven, spooning the syrup over the dumplings a few times, until the crust is golden (about 40 minutes).

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,
We confess that our idea of love is so far from Your own. It is far too easy for us to buy into the world's definition of love and forget what Your standard is. Feelings come and go, but your command to love our husbands is based on Your Word, not on our emotional state. Remind us to be faithful in expressing love for our spouses as a reflection of our love for You. During times of loneliness in our marriages, turn our eyes and hearts to You to fill the empty spaces in our lives. As we grow in the realization that with You, we are never alone, may we praise You for being our ever faithful guide and comfort.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

An Interview with Sherri Scavo

Sherri and her husband Pastor Craig Scavo serve Faith Lutheran in Durant Oklahoma. They have two grown children and one grandchild.

When I asked Sherri what her ministry was in the church she immediately said, “My biggest ministry is supporting my husband.” She has been involved in youth, music and WMF ministries. She replied, “I let the Lord draw me into the ministry He wants me to be in.” “The Lord took me into a ministry once that I didn’t think I felt comfortable with but it turned out to be a blessing.”

When I asked Sherri if she could encourage the pastor’s wives what would she say to them she responded with, “Be aware and present in your congregation.” “It is not about the ministry that you do it is just being aware of the members of the congregations.” “This is true for the seminettes as well,” she said, “letting your fellow seminettes know that you care.”

Sherri gave an example of a practical side to being aware and present in the congregation. “For instance, she said, “if there is a lady who is not very vocal but is extremely sensitive in your congregation and the Lord prompts you to call her and you do, you then are being obedient to the Lord.” “Maybe she just wanted someone to visit her and for you to just listen.” “By doing that we show that we care for her.”

“All of us women can be aware of other women and respond to them by letting the Lord lay that woman on our hearts.” “Even by letting them know that you are going to pray for them.” “ It isn’t being a fixer but it is just being aware of what God wants for us.” She said. “ During the 6 years that I have been a pastor’s wife, I have learned that in the ministry just be who you are.” “God uses you for who you are.” “Don’t try to be somebody you are not because they will see right through it”

Another encouragement that Sherri shared with me was to always respond to someone who asks you to serve in this or that capacity with, “I am going to pray about that and talk to my husband and I will get back to you.” Sometimes we are too quick to say no or yes and when we choose to do this properly there is not a negative response. “After all who will argue with you when you say you have to pray about it and talk to your husband”?

When I asked Sherri if she had a favorite Bible verse she said yes and it is placed on my fridge. It was one that she had from seminettes. I Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up just as you are doing (ESV)

“Be aware and encourage one another.” “Don’t get wrapped up in the negativism of the world.” She said. “Be an encouragement to your family, husband and your fellow believers and non-believers.” “Non-believers recognize when individuals are encouraging.” “When we have the spirit of positivism and not negativism, that raises the question, what is in her to make her happy”?

“In seminettes we encouraged each other in those times of long hours and separation from family.” She reported. “We were there for each other to build one another up during this wonderful, blessed and yet trying experience.” “Always encourage our husbands,” she reminded. “They constantly need encouragement they are not only Pastors but men with daily struggles.”

“ Just like eating is a daily practice so is reading the Word.” “We cannot do any of this with out the Word of God feeding us.”

July 1, 2011

FOCUS

The Excellent Wife

WORDS TO INSPIRE

HOME, the Wife’s Domain
Based on the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace

I enjoy genealogy as a hobby. In my census research, I have noticed that under the category “occupation” all of the women in my families’ past have answered with the words “keeping house.”

What does the Bible say about “keeping house?”

When studying the Proverbs 31 woman, I note that 9 out of the 22 verses refer directly to her work in the home. The Titus 2, 3-5 directive says that women are intended to be “workers at home.” In I Timothy 5:14,15 it states that women are to “keep house.” Martha Peace says that the Greek word for “keep house” is oikodespoteo, that means literally to “guide or rule the house.”

The Biblical concept of a “worker in the home” is not popular in today’s culture, but God gives a clear directive that He intends for women to work in the home and do a good job of caring for their families. Younger women are usually highlighted, as they have children to watch over and train as well as a house to be kept clean. THE EXCELLENT WIFE says that a wife who is gone with too many activities or work may not have the time nor the energy to keep her home as it should be kept, which I agree with. Older women also need to take homemaking seriously and influence their grandchildren in the ways of the Lord. No matter what our age, we need to care for our husbands – even more so when the husband is a pastor!

A personal inventory about the role of homemaking for the Christian woman may include the following questions:

What is your heart set on?
Are material possessions of too much importance?
Are your children/grandchildren high on your list of importance?
Do you have the Biblical mindset of housework being “homemaking?”
Have you bought into the pervasive cultural attitude that a woman who stays at home is an “non-person” and has little value?

A frequently quoted axiom is “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” We smile as we read this quote but a frown comes quickly when truly “Mama ain’t happy.” Either the extreme of perfectionism or laziness can cause emotional stress in homemaking, so both must be avoided or happiness will be destroyed. God wants us to set the tone of joy, optimism, and delight in the Lord and in our families, so consider meditating on Psalm 145:5-10 – read it repeatedly and incorporate the verses into your life. As you go about your daily chores sing hymns and praise songs with “with thankfulness in your heart to God.” Smile and share with your family members what wonderful things God has done for you and for them. A wife’s home is her domain. With the Lord’s strength, make yours a home where faith grows in a calming, soothing, and reassuring atmosphere.

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

The Wife’s Fear-Anxiety

Fear is crippling to the mind, heart and body. It can immobilize you to where you cannot even move out of your home or car or situation. Sometimes your heart races so much you can’t even hear you’re thinking process. Fear is very real. If you have experienced fear in this way it cannot be stopped by just telling yourself to not be afraid. It takes a lot more than that. It takes God actually moving you in baby steps. Sometimes you may have to ask the Lord to help you just walk from the edge of the house out to the curb to get your mail. It takes a divine intervention to get you out to the curb. It is better to take just the baby steps one at a time. Not pressing you to go huge steps. I will just go to the curb and get the mail. Lord help me to just do that. Fear is not a good thing to have and it certainly draws away from the Lord but it is also a very real fact for many women. It doesn’t matter what your fear may be it is still a fear. That fear can drive us. It totally consumes us sometimes so that it is a part of our life on a daily diet. That is when we need to ask the Lord to control our fear. God recognizes that we have the fear. He wants to give us peace of mind heart and soul. We have to put our full trust in Him and lean on Him even to get out to the curb to get the mail. “Jesus says, Thou shalt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” The mind plays a big part in FEAR. If your mind is thinking about the FEAR all of the time, your mind is not peaceful. Therefore in order to keep a peaceful mind your mind must be concentrating on Him alone. God does not want us to have FEAR. He wants us to be full of joy and not crippled by one of Satan’s plots. Sometimes God uses other Christians to intercede for us. Sometimes the voice of a believer can calm us and God uses that person to calm our hearts. Intercession is a wonderful tool to be used for those who suffer FEAR. Psalm 34:4 says “I sought the Lord and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” The point here is that you must seek the Lord and go to Him to help you from the FEAR. What about you? Is there a FEAR in your life that has grown so much that it has hindered you from drawing near to the Lord?

CHECK IT OUT

The Power of Hospitality
by Chuck& Kathie Crismier

As a young pastor’s wife I really don’t think I embraced the idea of hospitality. I would like to think that I didn’t recognize it as my “gift” BUT in complete honesty, I don’t think I was thinking of hospitality as a gift. Truth be told, I was trying to NOT even think of others! Probably at the expense of many lost opportunities on my part. HOSPITALITY IS TO BE CULTIVATED IN EACH OF US. Do you agree? It probably is to be the natural overflow of Christ’s love in us expressing itself to others in hospitality. However, how it displays itself in each of us may differ! This book, The Power of Hospitality is intriguing and enlightening. Read it to see how “an open heart, open hand, and open home will change your world!”

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

GETTING AWAY

Home. We appreciate it more when we can get away from it and slide into some degree of anonymity. Often, we are more grateful for it when we come back from time away to once again enjoy our own beds, our own coffee makers, and our own routines. Do you have a get away planned for this summer? Even if it is a mini-vacation, a few days away from our normal household demands can bring us back refreshed and more appreciative of our God given homes.

My dining room looks like a laundry room and camping store exploded within it's walls. Usually, this would make me as nervous as my dog in a lightning storm, but it actually makes me one happy momma. Why? Because it means that preparations for our upcoming vacation are well under way. At the time of this writing, I'm anticipating seeing many of you at the AFLC Annual Conference. While this is a very enjoyable time for us, it is still part of our "work" as we participate in discussions and hear updates on the various ministries within our church at large.

The day after Conference officially begins our vacation. While our plans have never included a cruise, resort, or five star hotel, we still feel like we are getting away grandly while we stay in our tents and cook over the Coleman stove. Long, long, long ago, I used to feel guilty at taking two weeks to devote to JUST family. That guilt I quickly found to be false, and threw it away and began to accept the blessing of spending uninterrupted time with my husband and children.

One of our children has already flown the nest, and this year finds us taking our second camping adventure without him. Our missing him serves as a reminder of how important it is to take the time to create memories with the other children still at home. His leaving also reinforces our conscience decision to take vacation even though for us it doesn't involve cruises or resorts.

Another deciding factor for us in getting away, is that it makes us better servants when we come back home. Even though we return with loads of dirty laundry, gallons of sand in the car, and the inevitable buckets of rocks and pine cones, we arrive refreshed and ready to be used as God would use us.

Time is short, children grow and go, and what is left is memories. What better reason for getting away?

IDEAS THAT WORK

HEALTH for BODY (Physical) SOUL (Mind, Will, Emotions) SPIRIT (Spiritual)

The Soul

The Soul. It consists of your mind, will and emotions. It is what makes you - you. Have you ever desired to be well in these areas? Have you ever desired to help people on this level? A few articles ago, I mentioned stress as the number one root problem of most of our diseases. Stress has its beginnings in our mind, will and emotions. That is one of the reasons that our Lord says to take our thoughts captive. 2 Corinthians 10:5. Does it stand to reason that we need education for healing in this area?

This past month, I had the privilege of attending The Healing Academy sponsored by Wind of the Spirit Ministries. This 4 ½ day seminar dealt with: Jesus’ Model for Ministry; Abba, Father; Healing of the Human Spirit; The Holy Spirit; Word of Knowledge; Forgiveness and The Healing Process; The Power of the Spoken Word; Judgments and Vows; Emotional Healing; Human Sexuality; Healing from Sexual Brokenness; The God of All Comfort; Deliverance; Physical Healing; Scriptural Guidelines to Ministering in the Power of the Holy Spirit; and A Service of Healing and Wholeness. It is important to have education but education without experience is just head knowledge. The sessions give you education plus practical, hands-on experience in the classroom.

Why do I mention this? So, you will have a resource. They respond to requests for seminars. For pastors and their wives, they suggest they attend a pastors and wives seminar first because of the honest, sensitive nature for your own healing. Then, prayerfully, consider a seminar for your own church.

Any interest for a pastors and wives seminar? Contact Lori at loriawillard@gmail.com or 218-463-3756.

Pay attention to “soul” in these verses: Psalm 19:7, Psalm 23:3, Psalm 119:175, Psalm 142:4, Isaiah 55:3, Matthew 16:26, Mark 12:29-31, I Thessalonians 5:23, Hebrews 10:39, James 5:19-20, 3 John 2.

Resource: www.wosm-nw.org

HERE'S WHATS COOKING

Grilled Peaches

Ingredients

3 tablespoons white sugar
3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 teaspoons freshly ground black peppercorns
2 large fresh peaches with peel, halved and pitted
2 1/2 ounces blue cheese, crumbled

Directions

1. In a saucepan over medium heat, stir together the white sugar, balsamic vinegar, and pepper. Simmer until liquid has reduced by one half. It should become slightly thicker. Remove from heat, and set aside.
2. Preheat grill for medium-high heat.
3. Lightly oil the grill grate. Place peaches on the prepared grill, cut side down. Cook for about 5 minutes, or until the flesh is caramelized. Turn peaches over. Brush the top sides with the balsamic glaze, and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes.
4. Transfer the peach halves to individual serving dishes, and drizzle with remaining glaze. Sprinkle with crumbled blue cheese.

Rhubarb Crisp Recipes

Ingredients:

1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup quick cooking rolled oats
1/2 cup melted butter
1 teaspoon cinnamon
4 cups sliced rhubarb
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla

Preparation:

In mixing bowl, combine brown sugar, flour, oats, butter and cinnamon; mix together until crumbly. Press half of the brown sugar and oats mixture into a buttered 8-inch square baking dish. Top with the sliced rhubarb. In a saucepan combine 1 cup granulated sugar, cornstarch, and the 1 cup of water and vanilla. Cook together until clear, then pour over rhubarb. Top rhubarb with remaining crumb mixture and bake

(allrecipes.com, about.com)

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,

As we tend to our homes, give us a spirit of joy in our service. While we clean, organize, prepare, and plan, help us remember that our roles in the homes are of eternal importance in Your eyes. As we repeat the same tasks again and again, help us to praise You again and again for our families, homes, and plans that You have for our good.

Do not let us be gripped by fear and worry as we are faced with pressure from without and within to do something of more importance in the world's eyes. Whether we have employment outside the home or not, help us see the value in creating warm, hospitable homes for our family and friends as of first importance.

Father, thank You for being the cornerstone of our homes, and of our hearts. May our work be a reflection of our love and gratitude to You.

Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

THE INTERVIEWS IN REVIEW

It has been six months hearing from many of our pastor’s wives through interviews.

What has been the main theme for all the interviews? From the oldest Pastor’s wife to the youngest we have heard many things but some things remained the same for all the interviews. Let us look at some of these. The first one is when I asked what they thought there ministry was in the church that they served with their husbands every lady said, “First it is to my husband” Not one lady was coached to say this but each lady said that it was their first ministry. We give Glory to God for all of these women who have been such testimonies to us. The second one was to their children. Taking care of their children needs was the ministry that they felt God leading them in. The third area then varied from one lady to the next with each one of them having different interests from crafts, music, children’s ministries, Bible studies and many more.

Now the other important thing that we have noticed is that when asked “How would you encourage each of our Pastor’s wives they all said to stay in the Word of God at all times to not leave it. This is a key to all of us who are in the ministry and to those wives who will be going into the ministry. Each time these ladies shared they also said that prayer is the key. The other main thing that was shared is that we are to be good listeners to our husbands. They need us to be sounding blocks and to pray for them in each situation. Another main theme that was said by many is to be who you are. Some like to send quick breads to the shut ins. Others like to visit the sick with their husbands and still others like to talk on the phone with some of the women who never get phone calls. Whatever it is that God has you to do in your church home just be who you are don’t try be like someone else. Sometimes we like to compare ourselves to other women and that only brings frustration.

This has just been a little taste of what has been shared over the last six months. For those of you who have not been able to read the interviews we hope that this gives you an insight of what was shared.

May 6, 2011

FOCUS

The Excellent Wife

WORDS TO INSPIRE

The Wife’s Heart – CHRIST

Let’s build on previous articles based on THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace, specifically addressing:

THE WIFE’S DAY-TO-DAY HEART’S DEVOTION TO CHRIST.

As I write this, the word “why” comes to mind” Why does this topic need to be addressed among pastor’s wives? Perhaps our devotion and longing may not always purely and solely to the Lord Jesus. Like other’s, we have idols in our hearts. According to Ms. Peace, “An idol can be anything. It may even be a good thing. But if we want it so badly that we sin if we don’t get it or sin to attain it, then we are worshiping an idol rather than Christ. We worship what we serve, speak about, sacrifice for, seek after, spend time and money on, and trust in.” (Ps. 115 & 135) Let’s look into our own hearts and ask these questions:

What’s frequently on my mind?
What’s being wished for?
What’s really important?

And because we’re women J, let’s look at the area of romance or in this instance, more appropriately called non-romance. Allison (a fictional character) tells her story with tears welling up in her eyes. She says her husband is the problem as he’s not affectionate; he uses her for sex and never tells her that he loves her. She says, “He doesn’t talk much, and watches TV all the time when he’s home. He’ll do things if she asks him but he should be taking the initiative.” She doesn’t want to live the rest of her life with a husband who doesn’t really care. She is miserable.

What’s the answer to Allison’s predicament? Her husband is not mean but reserved and somewhat selfish. He is satisfied with their lives as they are, but Allison is not. She wants to be cherished, special, plus she craves conversation and attention. She wants romance and sweetness – that’s not a bad thing – but when women set their hearts on romance and special feelings instead of setting their hearts on serving and worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ, frequently the result is a life full of disappointment, frustration, and bitterness. She needs a heart renewal. Her deepest desires need to be those recorded in Psalm 119. The Psalmist desired, sought after, and longer for God with his whole heart.

“Non-romance is not the only thing we women set our hearts on. Common idols (false gods) about which Christian wives struggle are: Being in good health, physical appearance, being treated fairly, having a pain-free emotional life, children, material things, money, success, other’s approval, being in control, having our “needs” met.

Grasp this: Like Allison, whenever compulsion toward anything in life becomes more important than the Lord Jesus Christ, God frustrates that idol worship because He wants our pure devotion. Do any of us desires a life of frustration?

Allison’s husband (whom she was blaming) was not the origin of the problem; it was her heart’s devotion toward having a pain-free emotional life and having her own needs met. That’s what she was worshipping. Those were her idols. What are yours? Worship goes on every waking moment of every day. Where is your worship directed? Is it to the Lord? Or to an idol…..

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

Control of the Wife’s Tongue

When careless, angry, abusive or even malicious words come out of mouth and are said to my husband, it is because my heart isn’t right with my Lord. My rash words can deeply wound my husband. They sometimes inflict pain. Matthew 12:34 says, “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” If I say wrong words they begin with wrong thoughts. I need to stop immediately and think about what I am thinking. If it is not Christ honoring I need to stop and renew my mind with scripture. Ask the Lord’s forgiveness and allow my heart to be renewed. Then the right words will come out of my mouth with a sweet sound.

I will be heard much more from my husband if my speech is forbearing and sweet. Proverbs 25:15 says, “By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded and a soft tongue breaks the bone.” Also, a Godly wife is wise and kind. When I open my mouth to speak wisdom and kindness should flow out. I receive wisdom from the Word of God and my kindness from the Holy Spirit. Again if I may repeat myself, I need to be in the Word daily, searching scripture verses and listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit and not my own thoughts.

Here are some hints that have helped me to practice my speech. Practice it over again and again until I know exactly what I am going to say. I also can practice the tone in which I am going to say it. I can also practice saying it out loud alone. A Godly woman is a trained woman. Proverbs 10:20 “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little.” Lord help me to work on my tongue so it is like a precious jewel and not an ugly rusty piece of metal.

CHECK IT OUT

Book Review

"One Thousand Gifts"

by Ann Voskamp

With tears of repentance over past resentments and grumblings and combined with expressions of joy over new insights into God's Word and his patience with me, I finished reading, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. There is not one of us that does not seek after joy . . . . yes, . . . that fullness of joy our Lord promised (John 15:11). Time and again Voskamp cements the truth in our minds that God's gift of the feeling of joy begins in the act of thanksgiving. In her beautiful style of poetic language we read Voskamp's work as though she has let us see her private diary. She shows how thanksgiving . . . .yes, gratitude . . . "gently peeled back the layers of her wounds to heal." She leads her readers to a deeper understanding of gratitude by sharing her struggles and joys as a writer, global advocate for the poor, farmer's wife and homeschooling mother of "half a dozen kids." Voskamp's book also gave me that "Aha" moment as to the benefits of a previous book I had neglected to finish by Nancy DeMoss and it gave me the desire to pick it up again. In her book, "Choosing Gratitude," DeMoss re-affirmed and drove home the new insights I had learned. She saturates our minds with Scripture and very skillfully connects the dots from gratitude . . . to joy . . . to worship. In our worship we are reminded that this too is possible, . . . to give thanks for our thorns through God's endless grace. Oh to see that grace . . .to give thanks . . . and to find joy which leads us to true worship. Because life is always changing, bringing new challenges and new responses, these two books have a prominent place on my bookshelf and will doubtless be re-read in my lifelong process of achieving a grateful heart. The choice is always there. When we choose gratitude and a lifestyle of thanksgiving and receive God's grace, we will experience joy and participate in true worship.

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

Decorating Your Home

Have you ever been encouraged while you decorated your home to bring the “outdoors in?” Well, now is the perfect time of year to think about bringing the “indoors out!” Your home isn’t just what is contained in the physical space of your house’s walls, but extends to wherever you are. A great relaxing way to enjoy your home this summer is to think of your backyard as one more family room.

Don’t have a deck? An affordable and fun idea (I promise you it is as I’ve done it) is to pick up some old wood palettes, paint them a cheery color and coat them with an outdoor grade clear varnish. You could do several different colors and place them together for a fun “tiled” look. Place a few potted plants, a small table and chairs, and you have a great spot to relax or entertain friends.

You want everyone to feel welcome in your backyard except - mosquitoes! Don’t forget to light some citronella candles, found at any hardware or discount store, shortly before you plan on using your outdoor space. Also, have plenty of insect repellent and sunscreen on hand not only for your family, but for any guests who may need some protection from the elements.

Even if you don’t have little ones at home anymore, it’s always a hit to have a bucketful of outdoor toys ready for young guests. Bubbles, rubber balls, sidewalk chalk, and if you have space, a sand table are great to have on hand. A few years ago I picked up a sand/water table with an attachable cover and that has proven to be my best investment for keeping my own children and their friends happily playing for hours.

Croquet and badminton sets are old school outdoor games that still are enjoyed by teens and adults. Chances are you already have a set in your garage, and if not they are easily found at yard sales or discount stores. If you have older kids/young adults in your household, make sure that they have comfortable size lawn chairs and maybe their own table for playing games on if you want to enjoy some conversation with other grown-ups.

Grilling is perhaps one of the easiest ways to bring family life outdoors. Have family members divide up side dish prep duties and everyone will have more time for enjoying their shish-ka-bob and beautiful weather. As you set your table, consider using a clean colorful bed sheet for a tablecloth. If you are hosting a party and don’t want to be worrying about cleanup right after supper, have a big bucket of soapy water where guests can put their dishes and utensils to soak so wash time later will be simplified.

Enjoy having a “bigger” house this summer. Utilizing your yard is the most affordable addition you can make to your home!

IDEAS THAT WORK

Health for the Body, Soul, and Spirit

Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar

Read 3 John 2 and Genesis 6:3

The miracles of apple cider vinegar (ACV) for a stronger, longer, healthier life:
· Promotes a youthful skin and vibrant healthy body.
· Removes artery plaque, infections and body toxins.
· Fights germs, viruses, bacteria and mold naturally.
· Retards old age onset in humans, pets and farm animals.
· Regulates calcium metabolism.
· Keeps blood the right consistency.
· Regulates women’s menstration, relieves PMS, and UTI.
· Normalizes urine PH, relieving frequent urge to urinate.
· Helps digestion, assimilation, and helps balance the PH.
· Relieves sore throats, laryngitis and throat tickles and cleans out throat and gum toxins.
· Protects against food poisoning and even brings relief if you do get it.
· Detoxes the body so sinus, asthma, and flu sufferers can breathe easier and more normally.
· Banishes acne, athlete’s foot, soothes burns, sunburns.
· Prevents itching scalp, baldness, and dry hair.
· Banishes dandruff, rashes, and shingles.
· Fights arthritis and helps remove crystals and toxins from joints, tissues, organs and entire body.
· Controls and normalizes body weight.

ACV Drink Daily: 1T. in 4 oz. purified water upon rising, one hour before lunch, and one hour before dinner.

Recently I fasted using the Bragg’s method of alternating pure water with diluted fresh vegetable juice to give my body a rest. Result: I had more energy and I had lost a couple of pounds in one day. They suggest weekly one-day fasts and a fast for a couple of days a month to help rid the body of toxin build up. I read one portion that uses a Bragg’s solution as an eyewash. If following prescribed eyewash, there is no need for cataract surgery! I strongly recommend purchasing the $9.95 book and read all the benefits for yourself.

Resources: “Apple Cider Vinegar Health System” by Paul C. Bragg and Patricia Bragg. Christian authors educating public on natural health and healing.

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING

Watermelon Summer Salad

Ingredients

3/4 cup halved, thinly sliced red onion
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 1/2 quarts seeded, cubed watermelon
3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/2 cup pitted black olive halves
1 cup chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

1. Place the onion slices in a small bowl with the lime juice. The acid of the lime will mellow the flavor of the raw onion. Let stand for 10 minutes.
2. In a large bowl, combine the watermelon cubes, feta cheese, black olives, onions with the lime juice, and mint. Drizzle olive oil over it all, and toss to blend. Dig in and be prepared for a pleasant surprise!

Mid-Summer Italian Bread Salad

Ingredients

1 clove garlic
1 (1 pound) loaf Italian bread
1 cup chopped tomatoes
1 cup cucumber - peeled, seeded and chopped
1 cup chopped red onion
1 clove garlic, minced
2 cups chopped fresh basil
1/8 cup chopped fresh thyme
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Directions

1. Rub a peeled clove of garlic around a wooden salad bowl.
2. Pull apart or chop the bread into bite-size pieces.
3. In the prepared salad bowl, combine the bread, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, garlic, basil and thyme. Add enough olive oil and vinegar to lightly coat, toss and serve.

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,

May our tongues reflect the joy in our hearts as we serve you by serving our husbands. Cleanse us from thoughts, attitudes, and ultimately actions, that hinder us in our role as wives. Help us to use words that build up, rather than tear down. May our words encourage our husbands and speak truth to them. Let our words echo those of the pslamist when he said, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer."

Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

An Interview With Judy Franz

Judy Franz is the wife of Peter Franz serving Grace Free Lutheran in Maple Grove, Minnesota. They have seven children and three grandchildren.

When I asked Judy what ministry she was involved in at Grace Free Lutheran she said, “Well first it would be to support my husband.” “She said, “Praying for him, encouraging him and attending the activities of the church.” “My personality is of a helping nature, so wherever I can help is where I am most comfortable.” She supports the women’s leaders and ministries in the church but being involved in children’s ministries whether it is teaching Sunday School or VBS is probably where she feels the most comfortable.

Judy had several encouraging thoughts for all of us. 1) Keep close to God through Bible Reading and Prayer. Allow every situation to cause you to grow closer to Christ. Make Jesus your closest friend. 2) Pray about everything to lift the burden of worry. Ask God to be in control of any interruptions in the day. 3) Support your husband and care for your children. Make the home to be a place where they can be refreshed to face the pressures of the outside world. 4) Don’t compare yourself to other pastor’s wives. God has given us all different talents and characteristic, and different energy levels and we are all at different stages of our lives. Do what you believe that God wants you to do after seeking Him about this. 5) Show appreciation for kindnesses of others. 6) Be a friend to all women in your church 7) Be an encourager smiles don’t cost anything so give them away. 8) Say hi to the woman who is standing alone in church. 9) Don’t gossip. 10) Focus on the blessings of the church you are in because it is not always greener on the other side of the fence. 11) All pastor’s wives feel inadequate sometimes. We worry if we are doing enough and often get down on ourselves. Ask for God’s guidance and do your best knowing God will bless your efforts. Satan tries to destroy us with discouragement. 12) Have joy in serving Jesus because what is done for Him has eternal value.

Judy’s favorite verse is Psalm 121:1,2. It was a favorite verse of her mother’s and it has special meaning to her also. I lift up my eyes to the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

March 9, 2011

FOCUS

The Excellent Wife

WORDS TO INSPIRE

A WIFE’S UNDERSTANDING OF HER ROLE
From the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace

Here’s an elementary question: “Who was created first, Adam or Eve?” Does this order have any significance when thinking about the roles of husband and wife?

Recently I watched the movie “Fire Proof” again. The scene when the firemen (with the help of bystanders) were pushing the car off the tracks as the train approached unable to stop, was once again a traumatic experience for me. As I write this article, I am reminded that each one was aware of the danger but more importantly they were aware of the critical importance of the teamwork, as the captain counted “1,2,3, push!” They functioned together as a team with one goal in mind – the safety of those trapped in the vehicle. Just as a local fire department is assigned roles (everyone is not the captain), God has assigned a particular role for the wife and husband. If our goal is to glorify God, we must understand and accept God’s perspective in our relationships. He is the mighty one who has the insight of both Creator and Redeemer. Open your Bibles as you study the next paragraphs –

Men and women are created in the image of God. “…in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them.” (Gen 1:27.)
Man was created first, then woman was created to be his helper. “…for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but the woman for man’s sake.” (I Cor. 11:9) The Trinity can be used as a role model because within the Trinity there are three distinct roles. The planner – God the Father, the one who carried out the plans – God the Son, the one who empowers Christians – God the Spirit. Here is perfect harmony, no role confusion. Look up Jn. 9:4; 8:28,29; 14:26; 16:13,14; 17:4 and ask the Lord to lead you into His truth. In marriage, just as Christ glorified the Father by doing the Father’s “work,” we are to glorify our husbands by doing the husband’s “work.” Your role is to glorify your husband. You were created for him. Gen 3:16, Eph 5:22 – 24, 32.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Christ actually died, sacrificed Himself for the sake of the church, as husbands sacrifice themselves for the sake of their wives. Further, “…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies…nourishes and cherishes…” Eph 5:28,29,33.

Practically speaking, what are some ways a pastor’s wife may be the glory of her husband? Here are a few ideas I gleaned from the book:
Ask your husband: What are your goals for the week? How can I help you accomplish them? Is there anything I can do that would make it easier for you? Possibilities include – run errands for him, be available to help with projects, pray for him, make good suggestions and give him the freedom not to use your suggestions.
Consider your husband over children, parents, friends, job, Bible studies, etc.
Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander at all, even if what you could say is true.
Make him breakfast to help him get off to a good start, take care in recording telephone messages, keep careful record of money spent to keep the budget in order.
Be warm and gracious to family, friends, and congregational members. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to all.

There are many other worthwhile suggestions on page 55 of The Excellent Wife.

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

The Basis of The Wife’s Protection-Submission

Submission to our husbands is the way God intended it to be in the family. In the book of Genesis God created Adam. He created Eve as a helpmate because it was not good for man to be alone. Ephesians 5:22-24 says “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” This is the order that God planned for marriage.

“Submission” in the Greek means to place in an orderly fashion under. This ranking of the wife under the husband’s authority was sovereignly chosen by God so that there will be order and harmony in the home. She has a different rank or position; she is not an inferior person. Christian wives need to see themselves as God sees them. We can see in Titus 2: 4-5 that Paul instructs the older women to train the younger women to love their husbands to be kind and being subject to their own husbands that the Word of God may not be dishonored. This is the heart of God for us wives.

Sometimes we don’t always feel like being submissive to our husbands. We can be submissive though by the grace of God and with a Godly motive. All of this is done for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. There is always joy in glorifying the Lord. Thus we are in obedience to God. When we are in obedience to God we receive a blessing.

If we have not been submissive at times we can ask the Lord to forgive us. I John 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” It is as it says if we confess, He is faithful to forgive, and to cleanse us from all unrightousness.” So it is gone. It is wiped off and we can begin then to be gentle, tender and have gracious obedience towards our husbands in submission once again.

CHECK IT OUT

Book Review

LOVE IS A VERB – (“Stories of What Happens When Love Comes Alive”)
by Gary Chapman (from Bethany House Publishers)

In the mug tree on my kitchen counter is a favorite which says “Let all you do be done in love” (I Corinthians 16:14). Perhaps I was led to read Love is a Verb because of the need to be often reminded of the above verse, for my “old nature” doesn’t always want to act or respond in love. I have also appreciated the concepts in Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, but in either case, I was attracted to this newer book which gives encouragement to never stop loving.

Included in this book are 40 different true stories about ordinary people who made the choice to love through the vast stresses and complexities of modern day human relationships. Any adult reader can “connect” with their challenges and relate to many of their personal situations. These examples express a “demonstrated” kind of love. This love needs to be evident in our marriages, to our families, our parishioners, our co-workers, friends, and even to those among us whom we may perceive as unlovable. Real and visible love can and does make a difference.

After each story the author highlights a key element that can help and inspire one to put love into action. Sometimes that action may mean just “being there” for the person we care about. At other times there are more tangible ways to show love. It’s not just about “Me,” for love is an investment of one’s self in another. “It’s not about who other people are, or how they treat us or what they do to make us value them. It begins with you, and it’s not primarily about what you say or feel. Instead, love is an action word; it’s a choice you have to make. Love is a verb.”

Six Little Words with the Power to Change Your Life
Living Proof Live with Beth Moore for Ministers Wives

How would you sum up your life in 6 words? That is the question Beth Moore asks as she shares with ministers wives in this digital download. Teaching from the book of Galatians Beth focuses on the unique challenges faced by wives whose husbands serve in ministry. Ministry is hard. If you have ever felt worn out and frustrated or even at a loss how to serve this series will be of great encouragement to you.

As Beth gives 6 aggravations in ministry she also provides 6 Biblical alternatives or responses. For example, aggravation number 2 is: Seek Their Approval, Become Their Slave. She asks the question, “Who is it that you need approval from?” When we look for approval from others it puts us in a love/hate relationship with them. We play into people’s vanity when we seek their approval. We also need to be careful to not allow a rebellious spirit to seek people’s disapproval. The Alternative is: Seek God’s Approval, Find Your Peace. As we develop and deepen our relationship with God, He will help us to focus on what He wants us to do and will show us where our energies should go. As Beth states, “Let your Savior tend to you!” Beth encourages women in ministry to reconnect with that first grace of Christ.

Beth also addresses the fact that the biggest problem for ministers’ wives is loneliness. Women were made for deep friendships. But, as another aggravation states: Work with People, Expect Titanic Problems. When we find ourselves getting short with people, getting cranky, it is time for refreshing! There are 3 dangers in this aggravation: competition, outright conflict and criticism. Learn to recognize the red flags. Remember, in every conflict our fight is not against flesh and blood, but evil powers and principalities. Every day we need to be sure to put on the “armor of God”. We are to choose to trust and let the Lord guide us in those friendships. Seek Him and His refreshing so that we may always be a blessing even in the difficult places.

One can find this download at the Lifeway Publishing website listed under downloads. It is reasonably priced and once purchased and downloaded to your computer it is yours to revisit again and again. The series is divided into two 60 minute sessions and one 30 minute session. Personally this teaching gave me valuable insight, encouragement and renewed my spirit. I can guarantee that you will need a box of tissues by the end. I pray her words will encourage you as they did me. As Beth states, “Remember, we serve the King!” How awesome is that?

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

What’s The Tone of Your Home?

This month as I sat down to write some helpful hints for home, several ideas came into play. After sifting through thoughts ranging from recipes to refurbishing furniture, I kept coming back to the tone of the home. Our homes can be decorated, cleaned, and organized to Good Housekeeping standards, but if our homes lack love, all that beauty and effort is wasted.

One of my aunts has a picture in her kitchen that states, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” Even though the artwork featuring a mother hen getting after her chicks is humorous, it holds much serious truth. We’ve all had days where the atmosphere in our homes have gone from sweet to our, simply with the change in our attitudes. When my children and husband seem to be more on the cranky side than the positive, I’ve learned to stop and ask what tone I’m setting for the day in our home. I’m sad to say that more often than not, it’s when I’ve been less than patient, discontent, or simply grumpy. Our tone truly affects the tone of our family life and also those who we may be welcoming into our home for a visit, meal, or stay.

My hope for you and myself as pastors’ wives is that we will dedicate the first portion of our efforts to being in the presence of Jesus through time in the Word, in prayer, and in fellowship. Is there a time and place for enjoying selecting paint chips, color swatches, new recipes? Of course there is. But our first “assignment” is the care of our homes and families is to be in tune with our Creator so that the tone in our home reflects His love and care. When we take advantage of the perfect manual He has provided us with in the Bible, the fruits of those moments spent with Him, will be homes that reflect beauty, compassion, and grace. Those are “decorations” that never go out of style.

IDEAS THAT WORK

HEALTH for BODY (Physical) SOUL (Mind, Will, Emotions)

SPIRIT (Spiritual)

PROTECTION

As pastors and pastors’ wives, we are in “front-line ministry”. It stands to reason we will experience attacks from the enemy. We can follow Jesus’ example and counter-attack Satan with scripture. You might find it helpful to daily read Psalm 91 – personalize it by inserting your name.

PSALM 91

_____dwells in the secret place of the Most High. _____shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

_____will say of the Lord, “He is _____’s refuge and _____’s fortress; _____’s God, in Him_____will trust.

Surely He shall deliver_____from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence.

He shall cover_____with His feathers, and under His wings_____shall take refuge; His truth shall be_____’s buckler.

_____shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day,

Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand may fall at_____’s side, and ten thousand at_____’s right hand; but it shall not come near_____.

Only with_____’s eyes shall_____look, and see the reward of the wicked.

Because_____has made the Lord, who is_____’s refuge, even the Most High,_____’s dwelling place.

No evil shall befall_____, nor shall any plague come near_____’s dwelling;

For He shall give His angels charge over_____, to keep_____in all_____’s ways.

In their hands they shall bear_____up, lest_____dash_____’s foot against a stone.

_____shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent_____shall trample underfoot.

“Because_____has set_____’s love upon Me, therefore I will deliver_____; I will set _____on high, because_____has known My name.

_____shall call upon Me, and I will answer_____; I will be with_____in trouble; I will deliver_____and honor_____.

With long life I will satisfy_____, and show_____My salvation.”

Resource: “Warfare Prayer” Tract, Osterhus Publishing Company, 877-643-4229 or 763-537-9311, http://www.osterhuspub.com/ (“Christian Tracts”, “Keswick”, page 2), 100 tracts for $6.50, scriptural prayer to help you through the spiritual battle. “Most popular tract we sell!” says Osterhus employee.