LOVE, the WIFE’S C H O I C E
From the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace
From the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace
Did you notice the emphasis on the word “Choice?” How could you help but notice? It could be an insignificant word, but I “chose” to give it emphasis. No matter what has happened between a husband and wife, if we choose to ask, the Lord can give love for each other that was never dreamed possible. We need only ask, and the Lord will give.
Even under trying circumstances, we can show love to our husbands because God’s “grace is sufficient” (II Corinthians 12:9). God will give us supernatural power (grace) to show love, if we obey God by thinking loving thoughts and doing loving actions toward our husbands. There are times when we need to put our feelings on the shelf, even go directly against feelings and do what we know is right – showing and acting love to our husbands.
Martha Peace says, that when godly love is expressed between husband and wife, they will often experience tender feelings and a sweetness that they never experienced during the early years of “romantic” love.
We as women are usually good at choosing to be neighborly – sharing a cup of sugar, giving garden transplants, getting together for no other reason than just to be together. “Love your neighbor” is the way the Bible says it in Matthew 22:39. We are reminded to give our husband’s this same kind of consideration. She says, in fact, that our husbands are our closest neighbors! Wow, that’s worth our consideration, isn’t it?
The author teaches that there are three categories of sin that will destroy love in a marriage: Selfishness, bitterness or fear – and often a combination of these three.
Selfishness: It is revolutionary in our American culture today to hear someone express the “Deny yourself” concept. The idea of “Putting others first” is so foreign. Yet that is exactly what God asks us to do. If husbands and wives are to have joy and fulfillment in marriage, each must put themselves aside and place God and others first.
Bitterness: Wives may express that they feel “hurt” and “resentful” toward their husbands. These emotions are how women feel when they are bitter. If you feel ungrateful, vengeful, have a loss of joy or excessive sorrow, are critical or brooding – you may be manifesting bitterness. Since bitterness hinders biblical love, ask the Lord to reveal the percentage of your fault, then take responsibility for that percentage by the “Put Off-Put On” method as recorded in Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart… and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”
Fear: A common struggle for many wives, fear makes it difficult to love our husbands. Whether the fear may be that he will die, leave you, or even abuse you in some way, the key to overcoming fear is to trust God and love your husband. I Peter 3:6 says “do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”
Love is the character quality on which we must concentrate. Memorize I Corinthians 13:4-7 and write out each aspect of love within this Scripture. What concrete ways can you express love to your husband through your thoughts or your actions?
