November 15, 2011

FOCUS





There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

The Wife's Respect
based on the book THE EXCELLECT WIFE by Martha Peace


Five Biblical principles that explain the wife's respect for her husband:

1. The wife Is to respect her husband.
The amplified Bible gives further insight into this verse from Ephesians 5:33. “...let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband – and that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.”


2. The wife is to respect his position.
As pastor's wives it may be fairly simple to show respect to our husbands when they are in the pulpit, but what about in his life – at home? The Lord would have us be “thankful in all things...” I Thessalonians 5:18. That means showing respect during the difficult times, such as in his failures. Respect him when he is just in his everyday, ordinary life.


3. The wife is to behave in a respectful manner.
Be especially cautious of your words, tone of voice, and countenance as you speak to your husband. Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up...” Perhaps the most helpful thing you can do is ask your husband to hold you accountable for showing respect to him. Your willingness to let your husband help you in this way, reflects your level of maturity.


4. The wife is to reprove her husband respectfully.
If your husband is doing something wrong, and a reproof is needed, so so gently and privately in order to restore him to a right relationship with God. Scripture says, “Love … does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth...” I Corinthians 13:5,6.


5. The wife who is disrespectful may experience severe consequences.
The most likely consequence to disrespect would be a rebuke from your husband because he has the responsibility before God to reprove you - “...if someone is caught in sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.” After all, disrespect toward your husband is a sin! Or he may respond by feeling hurt, pouting, becoming bitter, angry, abusive, or defensive. None of us wants that, do we. Additionally, disrespecting our husband tarnishes the reputation of the Lord Jesus Christ since our response to our husbands should be, “...as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18.)


Treating your husband with respect is not based on his merit, he doesn't have to first earn it. Respect is something you choose to give him, it's a heart attitude. On page 115 of the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE there is a self-assessment that would be beneficial for all. The book is worth buying, if for no other reason than to gauge your own personal level of respect. If you find yourself guilty of the sin of disrespecting your husband, confess it to God, realizing He will be “faithful and just to forgive...” (I John 1:9) and ask your husband's forgiveness too.

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

The Issue of Anger


Anger is a tough subject to write on because it can entail so many other emotions such as forgiveness, resentment and many more. With God’s help only can we understand this word.

We can suppress a lot of things in our lives and then explode. Sometimes the explosion is not even involving the person that you exploded to. But it seems like the cap comes off or we have had enough and the suppression of some anger issues comes out. Do not let the sun go down before the anger is settled.

Sometimes we feel people owe something to us and then the issue is who are we looking at. Then anger piles up like a lot of building blocks and as soon as it is moved it topples over and spills out.

A giving person gives and gives and if the root of that giving gets destroyed that giving turns to non giving and then it turns to resentment which in turn turns to anger

God wants us to give everything to Him, even our anger. When anger strikes our soul we should always take it to the Lord immediately. Obedience is a decision we make. Obedience is immediate. When anger is gripping our soul we have to obey and give it to the Lord immediately. Rebellion is opposite of obedience. So if rebellion takes over and we do not want to give the anger over to the Lord we then are not being obedient.

Colossians 3:8 says “But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.” Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you.”

These above verses speak to me. I am a Christian woman and I am to obey God’s word. His words above are what I am to do. He is not asking me if I would like to put away my anger. No, He says “Put away” which a command. As a Christian woman I have already made the choice to follow God. So in that choice I have to obey Him in everything. Not a have to with a rebellious spirit but a have to because I want Him to be in charge of my life. So as I write this the tears roll down my face and say “yes, lord I will put away my anger.” I want Jesus to be the center of my life and that means in this also.” “You take charge of that issue.”

Then a peace comes over our hearts and our souls are healed. “I will listen Lord to your commands.” Having peace in our souls is such wonderful refreshment.

CHECK IT OUT


Those Prepared are Usually Spared


As pastor’s wives we are placed in the special position of getting asked lots of questions seeking advice on a variety of topics. One subject that I have been asked about, is how do we protect our children and church's children from child predators. Most likely the question has come up in your church family. This is a difficult subject with one reason being the fact that the majority of child predators are family and friends. It’s not enough to tell our young to be wary of strangers. Our children are gifts from God. We need not leave these precious treasures defenseless but rather should arm them with information and instruction in how to identify and respond if a sexual predator makes an advance.


Several years ago, two books came to my attention(which I now recommend) which deal with this delicate issue. They are, Samuel Learns to Yell and Tell and Sara Sue Learns To Yell and Tell, by the Christian author Debi Pearl. These books are directed toward the young child up through early adolescence. Yell & Tell are written in a musical rhyme much like the old Concordia children’s books . Young Samuel is discreetly challenged by his mother and Sara Sue instructs her little sister to consider how to respond if faced with situations concerning sexual advances. More information is in the back of the book directed at parents. We are admonished to be wise and proactive, but not paranoid. One point that struck me was that if we as parents and churches are open with the fact that our children are on the alert for unwanted advances, and that they will “yell and tell” that predators will be less likely to strike our church or family. This is not a subject to be quiet about.

Samuel Learns to Yell & Tell is written from a Christian perspective with biblical encouragement, while Sara Sue Learns to Yell & Tell is directed towards the wider audience. I would encourage every family to own the set and to read them many times over. Giving a child this simple knowledge is arming them with wisdom to always yell and always tell. I was happy to find these books and put them in my library. They can be used as another tool given to parents as they seek to protect their children from those who would do them harm. The old adages “knowledge is power,” and forewarned is forearmed” holds true. It is only after you recognize the enemy that you can formulate an effective campaign against him. May we daily uphold our children in pray and seek His wisdom in how we are to guide and protect them . These books are available online on Amazon and www.nogreaterjoy.org

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

MOVING ON UP, OVER, AND AWAY



Most of us as will find our families making several moves during the years our husbands serve as pastors. Sometimes these moves are welcomed and anticipated, other times they are unwanted and difficult. Whatever the circumstances of the change of address for our families, we can take some practical steps to make the transition from one home to the next easier.

One of the best pieces of moving advice given to me, has been to take time to say good-bye to people and places. It's important to say those words of thanks and love to those who have blessed you during your stay at a congregation. It's important to acknowledge, and let your children express any sorrow they have at moving. It's often been said that children are resilient, and this is true to a point. However, it is very important we provide a safe, accepting environment to allow our families to share their varying emotions regarding a move. If time allows, it's also helpful to take "one last trip" to that special park, restaurant, or lake where your family created memories.

Planning is the #1 key in preparing for a successful move. Keeping a notebook or calendar with projects to be completed by a certain date can be a great motivator and organizational tool. It can be helpful to remember three words while preparing for a move - Purge, Preserve, and Pass-it-on. Get three boxes ready for each room of your house and fill them up. If you're goal is to fill up three boxes a day, think of how easily you'll be packed by moving day. Sometimes it helps to have a friend sit with you and ask you, "Are you really going to use this?" or, "Is this really worth the effort of packing, hauling, and unpacking?" If you're decision is to preserve an item, pack it carefully with like items and label it well so it's easy to find again. Consider giving "pass-it-on" items to friends who would appreciate them. If you have enough time before a move, a garage sale is a great way to earn some extra cash to set up house in your new location. Get pre-priced stickers and mark items for sale as you place them in your purge box. If time and energy are in short supply, donate items to your favorite local charity or thrift store.

Once those boxes are all packed and moving day has arrived, make the day flows as easily as possible for your family and for those helping you. Before helpers arrive, double check and make sure all boxes are clearly marked (according to room and type of items) and securely taped. Have items that are fragile labeled as such with a different color marker and put two people whom you know will handle those boxes with TLC in charge of them. If you have furniture that is disassembled before moving, put all necessary hardware into a sealed baggy and securely tape it to the furniture. If you have little ones at home, set up a babysitter (at their home) ahead of time. The commotion of moving is stressful not just on Mom and Dad, but on children as well. Provide your family and friends with plenty of drinks, and nutritious snacks or sandwiches to keep energy levels high. As a room is emptied, clean it and shut the door. If you have even two friends willing to help you clean as rooms are vacant, your cleaning time will go efficiently.

When you arrive at your new home's door, there are steps that can make unloading easier as well. Consider taking some paper signs labeled for each room so people know where to put boxes. It saves so much time to have boxes delivered right to the kitchen or bedroom so setting those rooms go smoother. If you're moving into a home with light carpets, or it's simply a muddy time of year, buy plastic sheeting to lay down on the floor to keep your new home's pathways cleaner. Again, provide healthy snacks and beverages for those helping you set up your new home. End your day with thanking God for your former home, and asking His blessing on your new one!

IDEAS THAT WORK


DID YOU KNOW . . .

· Health is a three-legged stool? Supplements, Diet, Exercise/Rest. One leg gone and your health will teeter.

· Supplements are to be taken according to each individual’s needs? Common needs: multi-vitamins, extra vitamin C, essential oils (i.e., fish, flax, coconut, etc.), fiber (i.e., ground flax, bran, etc.)

· What you put into your mouth matters? High quality, whole foods are essential. Buy or grow organic fruits and vegetables. Buy or raise free range, wild caught, hormone free meats. Bake your own bread. Get a blood test to determine your intolerable or allergenic foods. Your weight will come into balance once those foods are eliminated! Drink 8 to 10 glasses purified water a day to flush out toxins and help maintain bodily functions. Before eating or drinking ask yourself, “Will this substance harm or help my body?”

· There is a balance needed for exercise and rest? Our bodies were made to move. To maintain health and weight, 30 to 60 minutes of aerobic exercise a day. To lose weight, 60+ minutes aerobic exercise a day. After 20 minutes of aerobic exercise, your body begins to burn fat. Weight bearing and stretching exercises three times a week. Muscle burns fat. Rest 8 to 10 hours a night to rebuild your body and allow your immune system to work.

· Trying to determine your health needs on your own is like trying to shoot at targets with a blindfold (it can be difficult, even if you are well read)? You may or may not hit your needs. It is best to check with a naturopathic doctor (ND) for your specific needs, especially if you are suffering from some physical issues. (www.naturopathic.org)


“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge...” Hosea 4:6


KEY TO HEALTH: Application of good knowledge.

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING



Pan-Fried Onion Dip



Yield: About 2 cups of dip
Prep Time: 40 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes

2 large yellow onions
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
¼ cup vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon ground black pepper
4 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

½ cup sour cream
½ cup mayonnaise



1. Cut the onions in half and then slice them into 1/8-inch thick half-rounds (will result in about 3 cups of onions). Heat the butter and oil in a large sauté pan over medium heat. Add the onions, cayenne, salt and pepper and sauté for 10 minutes. Reduce the heat to medium-low and cook, stirring occasionally, for 20 to 30 more minutes until the onions are browned and caramelized. Allow the onions to cool.

2. Place the cream cheese, sour cream and mayonnaise in the bowl of an electric mixer and beat until smooth. Add the onions and mix well. Serve at room temperature. Refrigerate any leftovers.



Honey-Oatmeal Sandwich Bread


Yield: One (1) 9×5-inch loaf

Mix Time: 20 minutes
Total Rise Time: 2½ hours
Bake Time: 45 minutes

1¼ cups (10 ounces) boiling water
1 cup (3½ ounces) old-fashioned rolled oats

2 tablespoons (1 ounce) unsalted butter, cut into 3 pieces

1½ teaspoons salt

¼ cup (3 ounces) honey
1 cup (4 ounces) whole wheat flour
1-2/3 cups (7 ounces) all-purpose flour
¼ cup (1 ounce) nonfat dry milk
2 teaspoons instant yeast


1. Place the boiling water, oats, butter, salt and honey into a medium bowl, stir, and let the mixture cool to lukewarm.

2. Mix the remaining dough ingredients with the oat mixture, and knead – by hand, mixer or bread machine – until you’ve made a soft, smooth dough. Place the dough in a lightly greased bowl, cover it, and let it rise for 1 hour; the dough should be doubled in bulk.

3. Lightly grease a 9×5-inch loaf pan. Gently deflate the dough – it’ll be sticky, so oil your hands – and shape it into a 9-inch log. Place it in the prepared pan. Cover it gently with lightly greased plastic wrap, and allow it to rise until it has crowned 1½ inches over the rim of the pan, about 1 to 1½ hours. Near the end of the bread’s rising time, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

4. Uncover and bake the bread for about 45 minutes, tenting it with foil after 20 minutes to prevent over-browning. The bread is done when it’s golden brown and an instant-read thermometer inserted in the center registers 190 degrees F. Remove it from the oven, and after a minute or so turn it out onto a rack. Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with additional oats. Cool the bread completely before cutting it.


TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER


Dear Father,
When I wake in the morning, may I ask You to remind me of Your desire for me to respect my husband. May my words and actions towards him be ones that show respect. When I speak about him to others, may my words not be ones that tear him down, but that build him up. May the looks that I give him be given with eyes of love and honor, and not with scorn and ridicule. May I respect him for who You made him to be, and not for who I think he ought to be. May my love and reverence for You, be reflected in the love and reverence I hold for my husband.
In your precious name,
Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU


An Interview with Cheryl Skordahl



Cheryl Skordahl lives in Pipestone, Minnesota. Her husband Dave Skordahl serves as part-time Associate Pastor at Christ the King Free Lutheran Church in Pipestone. Cheryl is her husband’s helper! She helps him by keeping their home clean and orderly; and also prepares healthy and nutritious meals. She sends him off in the morning with a yummy breakfast and a big kiss! They have two married children and seven grandchildren.

When I asked Cheryl what she thought her ministry was now at Christ the King Free Lutheran Church she said, “Since both of our children are grown and I don’t work outside the home, I am grateful to have lots of time to also work within the church.” “I was asked to be the coordinator of the Cradle Roll.” She said, “Which I accepted wholeheartedly as a ministry to the young families at our church.” In addition to giving Bibles at the time of baptism and distributing the Cradle Roll brochures Cheryl also organizes a meal to be delivered at the time of birth and pays special attention to visiting with the young moms at the church. “ In the future,” she said “I plan to organize a get-together time for young moms and their preschool children.” “ In addition to Cradle Roll, I am on the Campus Vision Team – a team the congregation elected to review the church building structure and make recommendations for changes to the Board of Trustees.” I also am on the Church Decorating Team.”

I asked Cheryl the question if she were to encourage our pastor’s wives or Seminettes what words of encouragement would she say? “ The words I would use to encourage all Pastor’s wives and Seminettes would be to listen and obey the Word of the Lord.” “Then,” she said, “Do all you can whenever you can to further the Kingdom of God.” Cheryl said, “Since there are different phases in life, the “doing” will be different from time to time.” “When the children are young, build the Kingdom of God in them.” “Later,” she said, “will come a time to spread your wings and move beyond the home.” “Remember, she said, “throughout all of life, your responsibility lies in hearing the Word of the Lord and obeying it through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I asked Cheryl to share with us her favorite verse from scripture. She shared Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Thank you Cheryl, for these uplifting and encouraging words.