March 9, 2011

FOCUS

The Excellent Wife


There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

A WIFE’S UNDERSTANDING OF HER ROLE
From the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace


Here’s an elementary question: “Who was created first, Adam or Eve?” Does this order have any significance when thinking about the roles of husband and wife?

Recently I watched the movie “Fire Proof” again. The scene when the firemen (with the help of bystanders) were pushing the car off the tracks as the train approached unable to stop, was once again a traumatic experience for me. As I write this article, I am reminded that each one was aware of the danger but more importantly they were aware of the critical importance of the teamwork, as the captain counted “1,2,3, push!” They functioned together as a team with one goal in mind – the safety of those trapped in the vehicle. Just as a local fire department is assigned roles (everyone is not the captain), God has assigned a particular role for the wife and husband. If our goal is to glorify God, we must understand and accept God’s perspective in our relationships. He is the mighty one who has the insight of both Creator and Redeemer. Open your Bibles as you study the next paragraphs –

Men and women are created in the image of God. “…in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them.” (Gen 1:27.)
Man was created first, then woman was created to be his helper. “…for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but the woman for man’s sake.” (I Cor. 11:9) The Trinity can be used as a role model because within the Trinity there are three distinct roles. The planner – God the Father, the one who carried out the plans – God the Son, the one who empowers Christians – God the Spirit. Here is perfect harmony, no role confusion. Look up Jn. 9:4; 8:28,29; 14:26; 16:13,14; 17:4 and ask the Lord to lead you into His truth. In marriage, just as Christ glorified the Father by doing the Father’s “work,” we are to glorify our husbands by doing the husband’s “work.” Your role is to glorify your husband. You were created for him. Gen 3:16, Eph 5:22 – 24, 32.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Christ actually died, sacrificed Himself for the sake of the church, as husbands sacrifice themselves for the sake of their wives. Further, “…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies…nourishes and cherishes…” Eph 5:28,29,33.

Practically speaking, what are some ways a pastor’s wife may be the glory of her husband? Here are a few ideas I gleaned from the book:
Ask your husband: What are your goals for the week? How can I help you accomplish them? Is there anything I can do that would make it easier for you? Possibilities include – run errands for him, be available to help with projects, pray for him, make good suggestions and give him the freedom not to use your suggestions.
Consider your husband over children, parents, friends, job, Bible studies, etc.
Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander at all, even if what you could say is true.
Make him breakfast to help him get off to a good start, take care in recording telephone messages, keep careful record of money spent to keep the budget in order.
Be warm and gracious to family, friends, and congregational members. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to all.

There are many other worthwhile suggestions on page 55 of The Excellent Wife.

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

The Basis of The Wife’s Protection-Submission


Submission to our husbands is the way God intended it to be in the family. In the book of Genesis God created Adam. He created Eve as a helpmate because it was not good for man to be alone. Ephesians 5:22-24 says “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” This is the order that God planned for marriage.

“Submission” in the Greek means to place in an orderly fashion under. This ranking of the wife under the husband’s authority was sovereignly chosen by God so that there will be order and harmony in the home. She has a different rank or position; she is not an inferior person. Christian wives need to see themselves as God sees them. We can see in Titus 2: 4-5 that Paul instructs the older women to train the younger women to love their husbands to be kind and being subject to their own husbands that the Word of God may not be dishonored. This is the heart of God for us wives.

Sometimes we don’t always feel like being submissive to our husbands. We can be submissive though by the grace of God and with a Godly motive. All of this is done for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. There is always joy in glorifying the Lord. Thus we are in obedience to God. When we are in obedience to God we receive a blessing.

If we have not been submissive at times we can ask the Lord to forgive us. I John 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” It is as it says if we confess, He is faithful to forgive, and to cleanse us from all unrightousness.” So it is gone. It is wiped off and we can begin then to be gentle, tender and have gracious obedience towards our husbands in submission once again.

CHECK IT OUT

Book Review
LOVE IS A VERB – (“Stories of What Happens When Love Comes Alive”)
by Gary Chapman (from Bethany House Publishers)


In the mug tree on my kitchen counter is a favorite which says “Let all you do be done in love” (I Corinthians 16:14). Perhaps I was led to read Love is a Verb because of the need to be often reminded of the above verse, for my “old nature” doesn’t always want to act or respond in love. I have also appreciated the concepts in Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, but in either case, I was attracted to this newer book which gives encouragement to never stop loving.

Included in this book are 40 different true stories about ordinary people who made the choice to love through the vast stresses and complexities of modern day human relationships. Any adult reader can “connect” with their challenges and relate to many of their personal situations. These examples express a “demonstrated” kind of love. This love needs to be evident in our marriages, to our families, our parishioners, our co-workers, friends, and even to those among us whom we may perceive as unlovable. Real and visible love can and does make a difference.

After each story the author highlights a key element that can help and inspire one to put love into action. Sometimes that action may mean just “being there” for the person we care about. At other times there are more tangible ways to show love. It’s not just about “Me,” for love is an investment of one’s self in another. “It’s not about who other people are, or how they treat us or what they do to make us value them. It begins with you, and it’s not primarily about what you say or feel. Instead, love is an action word; it’s a choice you have to make. Love is a verb.”


Six Little Words with the Power to Change Your Life
Living Proof Live with Beth Moore for Ministers Wives


How would you sum up your life in 6 words? That is the question Beth Moore asks as she shares with ministers wives in this digital download. Teaching from the book of Galatians Beth focuses on the unique challenges faced by wives whose husbands serve in ministry. Ministry is hard. If you have ever felt worn out and frustrated or even at a loss how to serve this series will be of great encouragement to you.

As Beth gives 6 aggravations in ministry she also provides 6 Biblical alternatives or responses. For example, aggravation number 2 is: Seek Their Approval, Become Their Slave. She asks the question, “Who is it that you need approval from?” When we look for approval from others it puts us in a love/hate relationship with them. We play into people’s vanity when we seek their approval. We also need to be careful to not allow a rebellious spirit to seek people’s disapproval. The Alternative is: Seek God’s Approval, Find Your Peace. As we develop and deepen our relationship with God, He will help us to focus on what He wants us to do and will show us where our energies should go. As Beth states, “Let your Savior tend to you!” Beth encourages women in ministry to reconnect with that first grace of Christ.

Beth also addresses the fact that the biggest problem for ministers’ wives is loneliness. Women were made for deep friendships. But, as another aggravation states: Work with People, Expect Titanic Problems. When we find ourselves getting short with people, getting cranky, it is time for refreshing! There are 3 dangers in this aggravation: competition, outright conflict and criticism. Learn to recognize the red flags. Remember, in every conflict our fight is not against flesh and blood, but evil powers and principalities. Every day we need to be sure to put on the “armor of God”. We are to choose to trust and let the Lord guide us in those friendships. Seek Him and His refreshing so that we may always be a blessing even in the difficult places.

One can find this download at the Lifeway Publishing website listed under downloads. It is reasonably priced and once purchased and downloaded to your computer it is yours to revisit again and again. The series is divided into two 60 minute sessions and one 30 minute session. Personally this teaching gave me valuable insight, encouragement and renewed my spirit. I can guarantee that you will need a box of tissues by the end. I pray her words will encourage you as they did me. As Beth states, “Remember, we serve the King!” How awesome is that?

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

What’s The Tone of Your Home?


This month as I sat down to write some helpful hints for home, several ideas came into play. After sifting through thoughts ranging from recipes to refurbishing furniture, I kept coming back to the tone of the home. Our homes can be decorated, cleaned, and organized to Good Housekeeping standards, but if our homes lack love, all that beauty and effort is wasted.

One of my aunts has a picture in her kitchen that states, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” Even though the artwork featuring a mother hen getting after her chicks is humorous, it holds much serious truth. We’ve all had days where the atmosphere in our homes have gone from sweet to our, simply with the change in our attitudes. When my children and husband seem to be more on the cranky side than the positive, I’ve learned to stop and ask what tone I’m setting for the day in our home. I’m sad to say that more often than not, it’s when I’ve been less than patient, discontent, or simply grumpy. Our tone truly affects the tone of our family life and also those who we may be welcoming into our home for a visit, meal, or stay.

My hope for you and myself as pastors’ wives is that we will dedicate the first portion of our efforts to being in the presence of Jesus through time in the Word, in prayer, and in fellowship. Is there a time and place for enjoying selecting paint chips, color swatches, new recipes? Of course there is. But our first “assignment” is the care of our homes and families is to be in tune with our Creator so that the tone in our home reflects His love and care. When we take advantage of the perfect manual He has provided us with in the Bible, the fruits of those moments spent with Him, will be homes that reflect beauty, compassion, and grace. Those are “decorations” that never go out of style.

IDEAS THAT WORK

HEALTH for BODY (Physical) SOUL (Mind, Will, Emotions)
SPIRIT (Spiritual)

PROTECTION


As pastors and pastors’ wives, we are in “front-line ministry”. It stands to reason we will experience attacks from the enemy. We can follow Jesus’ example and counter-attack Satan with scripture. You might find it helpful to daily read Psalm 91 – personalize it by inserting your name.


PSALM 91


_____dwells in the secret place of the Most High. _____shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

_____will say of the Lord, “He is _____’s refuge and _____’s fortress; _____’s God, in Him_____will trust.

Surely He shall deliver_____from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence.

He shall cover_____with His feathers, and under His wings_____shall take refuge; His truth shall be_____’s buckler.

_____shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day,

Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand may fall at_____’s side, and ten thousand at_____’s right hand; but it shall not come near_____.

Only with_____’s eyes shall_____look, and see the reward of the wicked.

Because_____has made the Lord, who is_____’s refuge, even the Most High,_____’s dwelling place.

No evil shall befall_____, nor shall any plague come near_____’s dwelling;

For He shall give His angels charge over_____, to keep_____in all_____’s ways.

In their hands they shall bear_____up, lest_____dash_____’s foot against a stone.

_____shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent_____shall trample underfoot.

“Because_____has set_____’s love upon Me, therefore I will deliver_____; I will set _____on high, because_____has known My name.

_____shall call upon Me, and I will answer_____; I will be with_____in trouble; I will deliver_____and honor_____.

With long life I will satisfy_____, and show_____My salvation.”

Resource: “Warfare Prayer” Tract, Osterhus Publishing Company, 877-643-4229 or 763-537-9311, http://www.osterhuspub.com/ (“Christian Tracts”, “Keswick”, page 2), 100 tracts for $6.50, scriptural prayer to help you through the spiritual battle. “Most popular tract we sell!” says Osterhus employee.

HERE"S WHAT'S COOKING

Grilled Chicken Panini

Ingredients
1 (11 ounce) package Tyson® Grilled and Ready™ Fully Cooked Grilled Chicken Breast Strips
1/2 cup pesto sauce, prepared
8 slices Italian bread
4 slices provolone cheese
1/4 cup olive oil

Directions:
1. Spread one tablespoon of pesto onto one side of each bread slice. Divide chicken strips among 4 slices of bread. Place a slice of cheese on top of chicken. Top with remaining bread slices, pesto side down.
2. Brush the outer sides of each sandwich with olive oil.
3. Heat large skillet or griddle over medium. Grill sandwiches until browned on one side; turn and grill until brown on other side.


Apple Stuffed Chicken Breast

Ingredients
2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1/2 cup chopped apple
2 tablespoons shredded Cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon Italian-style dried bread crumbs
1 tablespoon butter
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup water
1 tablespoon water
1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley, for garnish

Directions
1. Combine apple, cheese, and bread crumbs. Set aside.

2. Flatten chicken breasts between sheets of waxed paper to 1/4 inch thickness. Divide apple mixture between chicken breasts, and roll up each breast. Secure with toothpicks.

3. Melt butter or margarine in a 7 inch skillet over medium heat. Brown stuffed chicken breasts. Add wine and 1/4 cup water. Cover. Simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink.

4. Transfer chicken to a serving platter. Combine 1 tablespoon water and cornstarch; stir into juices in pan. Cook and stir until thickened. Pour gravy over chicken, and garnish with parsley. Serve.


**Recipes provided by allrecipes.com**

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,
Thank you for Your Word that teaches us, convicts us, and guides us day by day. As we live out our lives being "suitable helpers" to our husbands, help us to remember and rejoice in the truth that You have given us the privilege of helping our husbands be caring and loving shepherds of their congregations. Show us how we can support, encourage, and assist them as they actively live out the call You have placed upon them as pastors, and we as their wives. In our roles as helpmeets, show us how to be just that - a helper who meets our husbands' needs.

In areas of conflict and difficult decisions, help us submit to our husbands "as unto You." When we share differing opinions than our husbands, help us to choose the right time, way, and words to express our thoughts. May our marriages be a reflection of respect and unity, even when we do not get our way in a situation. Help us to remember that Your ways are always best.

We thank You that we can always trust You every day, in every situation.Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

An Interview With Jane Emerson


Jane Emerson is the wife of Curt Emerson. Together they serve Peace Free Lutheran in Canal Winchester, Ohio. They have three children and eight grandchildren.

My first question to Jane was what ministry did she feel was hers in the church that they are serving? Jane replied, “My main ministry in this parish is my husband.” “He and I share a bond of daily reading the Word and praying together for specific needs as well as interceding for our church family.” “God continues to use Jane in the ministry of music but God has also opened doors to use her in teaching and training women.

The next question I asked Jane was “As you compare your first years as a pastor’s wife to now what would you share with our pastor’s wives that the Lord has taught you”? “Well, to spend the majority of my time praying and seeking God for His direction in my life and do less activities relying only on God’s approval and not man’s comments whether good or bad.” “It is important to understand that we answer to God not people.” She said. “To just be busy and try to impress is not spiritual you only wear yourself out!” “If you are allowing God to do the work no one should burn out.”

The next question I asked Jane was, “If you were going to encourage the pastor’s wives what would you encourage them with”? “To encourage each of you” she said, “I would say that God has made you unique.” “He has already equipped you with all you need to accomplish all He wants you to do.” “Remember, He does the work you are to be obedient and call upon Him, read His Word and allow Him to lead in your home and in your parish.”

I asked Jane to share a favorite Bible verse that meant a lot to her now. She said, “There are so many verses that God has opened up to me but I really love I John 1:17. “But IF we walk in the Light as He is in the Light, we have fellowship one with another and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from All sins.”

Thank you Jane for these encouraging words and may we be women seeking after God.