THE EXCELLENT WIFE – WHO CAN FIND?
Based on the book “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace
Even a cursory look at the Proverbs 31 wife, brings to mind the question “but who can meet this standard?” Trusted, kind, fears the Lord, blessed by her children, careful, good to her husband, etc. these and more are the traits of an excellent wife. Let’s ask ourselves…are these the qualities I want in my life? Now, be honest… Or perhaps the question you’re asking is: Is it even possible to reflect these qualities? The answer is YES – maybe difficult to accept, but the answer is YES. Any Christian woman who knows the Lord personally and obeys Him can become a godly woman and an excellent wife. “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His Own glory and EXCELLENCE.” (II Peter 1:3) God has broken the grip of sin in a woman who has truly committed her life to Him, and He has given her the supernatural power of the indwelling Holy Spirit to enable her to obey His Word and submit to His way and His will. (refer to John 14:16,17) Let us, each one of us, begin by humbly confessing that we have not been the wife that the Lord wants us to be and ask Him to teach us what we need to know so that our lives and our relationship with our husbands will glorify Him.
Let’s encourage ourselves as we begin this year - long topic “EXCELLENT WIFE” by regularly and faithfully praying that your marriage will glorify and please God. Be specific about sins, name weaknesses, confess, and ask God to change your weaknesses and your husband’s weaknesses into strengths. Ask the Lord to take the log out of your eye (Mt. 7:3-5). The question may arise, “How does God show us our sins?” By convicting us when we read His Word (Heb. 4:12) and by having someone tell you (Eph 5:25).
“having someone tell you….” That’s a tough one, isn’t it? The author calls it “mutual sanctification.” Just as God helps us as individuals become more like Christ, He also helps couples grow and mature and help each other become more like Christ. “If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.” (Mt 8:15) “You who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted.” (Gal. 6:1) Note that the reproof needs to be done privately, with gentleness, and with the motive of restoring the other person. If a husband or wife are unwilling to gently reprove one another, they may be more concerned about “the effect it could have on me” rather than on helping their spouse.
How then should we women respond to a husband’s reproof?
1. Be willing to consider whether the reproof could possible be valid?? J
2. Take time to think about the revelation.
3. Search the Scriptures to determine what the sin is and how to put it off. (Eph 4:22-24)
4. Ask your husband to give specific examples.
5. Confess your sin. (I Jn 1:9)
6. Stop doing the sin and start doing the right thing. (Heb. 12:11)
7. Do not justify or defend yourself.
8. Listen and learn from the reproof.
9. Consider the question, “What is God trying to teach me?”
Learn to see each other’s reproofs from God’s perspective and be grateful that your husband loves you so much that he wants to tell you his complaint instead of clamming up and becoming embittered. “Better is an open rebuke than love that is concealed.” Prov. 27:5 When a husband and wife love the Lord Jesus Christ, they will participate in and submit to the process of mutual sanctification. It helps each other become more like Christ so that each can glorify HIM more.
5. Confess your sin. (I Jn 1:9)
6. Stop doing the sin and start doing the right thing. (Heb. 12:11)
7. Do not justify or defend yourself.
8. Listen and learn from the reproof.
9. Consider the question, “What is God trying to teach me?”
Learn to see each other’s reproofs from God’s perspective and be grateful that your husband loves you so much that he wants to tell you his complaint instead of clamming up and becoming embittered. “Better is an open rebuke than love that is concealed.” Prov. 27:5 When a husband and wife love the Lord Jesus Christ, they will participate in and submit to the process of mutual sanctification. It helps each other become more like Christ so that each can glorify HIM more.
