FOCUS

The Excellent Wife

There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

The Wife’s Heart – CHRIST

Let’s build on previous articles based on THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace, specifically addressing:

THE WIFE’S DAY-TO-DAY HEART’S DEVOTION TO CHRIST.

As I write this, the word “why” comes to mind” Why does this topic need to be addressed among pastor’s wives? Perhaps our devotion and longing may not always purely and solely to the Lord Jesus. Like other’s, we have idols in our hearts. According to Ms. Peace, “An idol can be anything. It may even be a good thing. But if we want it so badly that we sin if we don’t get it or sin to attain it, then we are worshiping an idol rather than Christ. We worship what we serve, speak about, sacrifice for, seek after, spend time and money on, and trust in.” (Ps. 115 & 135) Let’s look into our own hearts and ask these questions:

What’s frequently on my mind?
What’s being wished for?
What’s really important?

And because we’re women J, let’s look at the area of romance or in this instance, more appropriately called non-romance. Allison (a fictional character) tells her story with tears welling up in her eyes. She says her husband is the problem as he’s not affectionate; he uses her for sex and never tells her that he loves her. She says, “He doesn’t talk much, and watches TV all the time when he’s home. He’ll do things if she asks him but he should be taking the initiative.” She doesn’t want to live the rest of her life with a husband who doesn’t really care. She is miserable.

What’s the answer to Allison’s predicament? Her husband is not mean but reserved and somewhat selfish. He is satisfied with their lives as they are, but Allison is not. She wants to be cherished, special, plus she craves conversation and attention. She wants romance and sweetness – that’s not a bad thing – but when women set their hearts on romance and special feelings instead of setting their hearts on serving and worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ, frequently the result is a life full of disappointment, frustration, and bitterness. She needs a heart renewal. Her deepest desires need to be those recorded in Psalm 119. The Psalmist desired, sought after, and longer for God with his whole heart.

“Non-romance is not the only thing we women set our hearts on. Common idols (false gods) about which Christian wives struggle are: Being in good health, physical appearance, being treated fairly, having a pain-free emotional life, children, material things, money, success, other’s approval, being in control, having our “needs” met.

Grasp this: Like Allison, whenever compulsion toward anything in life becomes more important than the Lord Jesus Christ, God frustrates that idol worship because He wants our pure devotion. Do any of us desires a life of frustration?

Allison’s husband (whom she was blaming) was not the origin of the problem; it was her heart’s devotion toward having a pain-free emotional life and having her own needs met. That’s what she was worshipping. Those were her idols. What are yours? Worship goes on every waking moment of every day. Where is your worship directed? Is it to the Lord? Or to an idol…..

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

Control of the Wife’s Tongue

When careless, angry, abusive or even malicious words come out of mouth and are said to my husband, it is because my heart isn’t right with my Lord. My rash words can deeply wound my husband. They sometimes inflict pain. Matthew 12:34 says, “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” If I say wrong words they begin with wrong thoughts. I need to stop immediately and think about what I am thinking. If it is not Christ honoring I need to stop and renew my mind with scripture. Ask the Lord’s forgiveness and allow my heart to be renewed. Then the right words will come out of my mouth with a sweet sound.

I will be heard much more from my husband if my speech is forbearing and sweet. Proverbs 25:15 says, “By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded and a soft tongue breaks the bone.” Also, a Godly wife is wise and kind. When I open my mouth to speak wisdom and kindness should flow out. I receive wisdom from the Word of God and my kindness from the Holy Spirit. Again if I may repeat myself, I need to be in the Word daily, searching scripture verses and listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit and not my own thoughts.

Here are some hints that have helped me to practice my speech. Practice it over again and again until I know exactly what I am going to say. I also can practice the tone in which I am going to say it. I can also practice saying it out loud alone. A Godly woman is a trained woman. Proverbs 10:20 “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little.” Lord help me to work on my tongue so it is like a precious jewel and not an ugly rusty piece of metal.

CHECK IT OUT

Book Review

"One Thousand Gifts"

by Ann Voskamp

With tears of repentance over past resentments and grumblings and combined with expressions of joy over new insights into God's Word and his patience with me, I finished reading, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. There is not one of us that does not seek after joy . . . . yes, . . . that fullness of joy our Lord promised (John 15:11). Time and again Voskamp cements the truth in our minds that God's gift of the feeling of joy begins in the act of thanksgiving. In her beautiful style of poetic language we read Voskamp's work as though she has let us see her private diary. She shows how thanksgiving . . . .yes, gratitude . . . "gently peeled back the layers of her wounds to heal." She leads her readers to a deeper understanding of gratitude by sharing her struggles and joys as a writer, global advocate for the poor, farmer's wife and homeschooling mother of "half a dozen kids." Voskamp's book also gave me that "Aha" moment as to the benefits of a previous book I had neglected to finish by Nancy DeMoss and it gave me the desire to pick it up again. In her book, "Choosing Gratitude," DeMoss re-affirmed and drove home the new insights I had learned. She saturates our minds with Scripture and very skillfully connects the dots from gratitude . . . to joy . . . to worship. In our worship we are reminded that this too is possible, . . . to give thanks for our thorns through God's endless grace. Oh to see that grace . . .to give thanks . . . and to find joy which leads us to true worship. Because life is always changing, bringing new challenges and new responses, these two books have a prominent place on my bookshelf and will doubtless be re-read in my lifelong process of achieving a grateful heart. The choice is always there. When we choose gratitude and a lifestyle of thanksgiving and receive God's grace, we will experience joy and participate in true worship.

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

Decorating Your Home

Have you ever been encouraged while you decorated your home to bring the “outdoors in?” Well, now is the perfect time of year to think about bringing the “indoors out!” Your home isn’t just what is contained in the physical space of your house’s walls, but extends to wherever you are. A great relaxing way to enjoy your home this summer is to think of your backyard as one more family room.

Don’t have a deck? An affordable and fun idea (I promise you it is as I’ve done it) is to pick up some old wood palettes, paint them a cheery color and coat them with an outdoor grade clear varnish. You could do several different colors and place them together for a fun “tiled” look. Place a few potted plants, a small table and chairs, and you have a great spot to relax or entertain friends.

You want everyone to feel welcome in your backyard except - mosquitoes! Don’t forget to light some citronella candles, found at any hardware or discount store, shortly before you plan on using your outdoor space. Also, have plenty of insect repellent and sunscreen on hand not only for your family, but for any guests who may need some protection from the elements.

Even if you don’t have little ones at home anymore, it’s always a hit to have a bucketful of outdoor toys ready for young guests. Bubbles, rubber balls, sidewalk chalk, and if you have space, a sand table are great to have on hand. A few years ago I picked up a sand/water table with an attachable cover and that has proven to be my best investment for keeping my own children and their friends happily playing for hours.

Croquet and badminton sets are old school outdoor games that still are enjoyed by teens and adults. Chances are you already have a set in your garage, and if not they are easily found at yard sales or discount stores. If you have older kids/young adults in your household, make sure that they have comfortable size lawn chairs and maybe their own table for playing games on if you want to enjoy some conversation with other grown-ups.

Grilling is perhaps one of the easiest ways to bring family life outdoors. Have family members divide up side dish prep duties and everyone will have more time for enjoying their shish-ka-bob and beautiful weather. As you set your table, consider using a clean colorful bed sheet for a tablecloth. If you are hosting a party and don’t want to be worrying about cleanup right after supper, have a big bucket of soapy water where guests can put their dishes and utensils to soak so wash time later will be simplified.

Enjoy having a “bigger” house this summer. Utilizing your yard is the most affordable addition you can make to your home!

IDEAS THAT WORK

Health for the Body, Soul, and Spirit

Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar

Read 3 John 2 and Genesis 6:3

The miracles of apple cider vinegar (ACV) for a stronger, longer, healthier life:
· Promotes a youthful skin and vibrant healthy body.
· Removes artery plaque, infections and body toxins.
· Fights germs, viruses, bacteria and mold naturally.
· Retards old age onset in humans, pets and farm animals.
· Regulates calcium metabolism.
· Keeps blood the right consistency.
· Regulates women’s menstration, relieves PMS, and UTI.
· Normalizes urine PH, relieving frequent urge to urinate.
· Helps digestion, assimilation, and helps balance the PH.
· Relieves sore throats, laryngitis and throat tickles and cleans out throat and gum toxins.
· Protects against food poisoning and even brings relief if you do get it.
· Detoxes the body so sinus, asthma, and flu sufferers can breathe easier and more normally.
· Banishes acne, athlete’s foot, soothes burns, sunburns.
· Prevents itching scalp, baldness, and dry hair.
· Banishes dandruff, rashes, and shingles.
· Fights arthritis and helps remove crystals and toxins from joints, tissues, organs and entire body.
· Controls and normalizes body weight.

ACV Drink Daily: 1T. in 4 oz. purified water upon rising, one hour before lunch, and one hour before dinner.

Recently I fasted using the Bragg’s method of alternating pure water with diluted fresh vegetable juice to give my body a rest. Result: I had more energy and I had lost a couple of pounds in one day. They suggest weekly one-day fasts and a fast for a couple of days a month to help rid the body of toxin build up. I read one portion that uses a Bragg’s solution as an eyewash. If following prescribed eyewash, there is no need for cataract surgery! I strongly recommend purchasing the $9.95 book and read all the benefits for yourself.

Resources: “Apple Cider Vinegar Health System” by Paul C. Bragg and Patricia Bragg. Christian authors educating public on natural health and healing.

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING

Watermelon Summer Salad

Ingredients

3/4 cup halved, thinly sliced red onion
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 1/2 quarts seeded, cubed watermelon
3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/2 cup pitted black olive halves
1 cup chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

1. Place the onion slices in a small bowl with the lime juice. The acid of the lime will mellow the flavor of the raw onion. Let stand for 10 minutes.
2. In a large bowl, combine the watermelon cubes, feta cheese, black olives, onions with the lime juice, and mint. Drizzle olive oil over it all, and toss to blend. Dig in and be prepared for a pleasant surprise!

Mid-Summer Italian Bread Salad

Ingredients

1 clove garlic
1 (1 pound) loaf Italian bread
1 cup chopped tomatoes
1 cup cucumber - peeled, seeded and chopped
1 cup chopped red onion
1 clove garlic, minced
2 cups chopped fresh basil
1/8 cup chopped fresh thyme
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Directions

1. Rub a peeled clove of garlic around a wooden salad bowl.
2. Pull apart or chop the bread into bite-size pieces.
3. In the prepared salad bowl, combine the bread, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, garlic, basil and thyme. Add enough olive oil and vinegar to lightly coat, toss and serve.

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,

May our tongues reflect the joy in our hearts as we serve you by serving our husbands. Cleanse us from thoughts, attitudes, and ultimately actions, that hinder us in our role as wives. Help us to use words that build up, rather than tear down. May our words encourage our husbands and speak truth to them. Let our words echo those of the pslamist when he said, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer."

Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

An Interview With Judy Franz

Judy Franz is the wife of Peter Franz serving Grace Free Lutheran in Maple Grove, Minnesota. They have seven children and three grandchildren.

When I asked Judy what ministry she was involved in at Grace Free Lutheran she said, “Well first it would be to support my husband.” “She said, “Praying for him, encouraging him and attending the activities of the church.” “My personality is of a helping nature, so wherever I can help is where I am most comfortable.” She supports the women’s leaders and ministries in the church but being involved in children’s ministries whether it is teaching Sunday School or VBS is probably where she feels the most comfortable.

Judy had several encouraging thoughts for all of us. 1) Keep close to God through Bible Reading and Prayer. Allow every situation to cause you to grow closer to Christ. Make Jesus your closest friend. 2) Pray about everything to lift the burden of worry. Ask God to be in control of any interruptions in the day. 3) Support your husband and care for your children. Make the home to be a place where they can be refreshed to face the pressures of the outside world. 4) Don’t compare yourself to other pastor’s wives. God has given us all different talents and characteristic, and different energy levels and we are all at different stages of our lives. Do what you believe that God wants you to do after seeking Him about this. 5) Show appreciation for kindnesses of others. 6) Be a friend to all women in your church 7) Be an encourager smiles don’t cost anything so give them away. 8) Say hi to the woman who is standing alone in church. 9) Don’t gossip. 10) Focus on the blessings of the church you are in because it is not always greener on the other side of the fence. 11) All pastor’s wives feel inadequate sometimes. We worry if we are doing enough and often get down on ourselves. Ask for God’s guidance and do your best knowing God will bless your efforts. Satan tries to destroy us with discouragement. 12) Have joy in serving Jesus because what is done for Him has eternal value.

Judy’s favorite verse is Psalm 121:1,2. It was a favorite verse of her mother’s and it has special meaning to her also. I lift up my eyes to the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.