May 1, 2009

FOCUS:

HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS

Psalm 133:1,36b "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! ...the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore."

"due to the God-given uniqueness of each persons' ideas and personality, and especially the influence of the fallen nature, relationships can and do develop into discord even among Christians."

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD:

Different Yet Complementary
By Candice Johnson


Dealing with strife and discord among Christians has at times sent me into deep discouragement. Dealing with non-harmonious relationships in the church seems like it should not even be an issue. After all, the Scriptures instruct us to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:39). But the reality is, due to the God-given uniqueness of each persons’ ideas and personality, and especially the influence of the fallen nature, relationships can and do develop into discord even among Christians.

It seems that discord comes in relationships when we don’t like the way someone is doing something. That can lead to words being said, feelings being hurt, and sides being taken. Unfortunately, this does happen often among Christians. Part of the problem is our sinful nature and part of the problem is a misunderstanding of harmony.

The term harmony has its roots deep in the realm of music. Considering how harmony is accomplished in music can lead to a clearer understanding of how harmony can be accomplished in relationships.

One essential truth about harmony in music is that harmony is a mixture; a mixture of different elements working together to create a beautiful sound. Simply stated, harmony is achieved when two or more notes, located on different lines or different spaces, blend together to create a pleasing sound. The notes are different, yet complementary; separate, yet united. Thus we have a beautiful piece of music

One essential truth about harmony in relationships is that this harmony, too, is the result of different people working together toward a common purpose. Though a variety of individuals may be involved in different aspects of service, to be harmonious, their purpose needs to be the same. Among Christian, that common purpose needs to be exalting Christ.

When exalting Christ is the primary goal for life and service, then the various methods for achieving that goal take on less significance. To put it simply, does it matter if someone sings songs, or writes novels, or washes dishes or teaches Sunday school, or cleans restrooms, or sells Mary Kay, as long as it is done to exalt Christ? The Apostle Paul addresses the issue of disharmony in his letter to the Philippians 1:15-18 when he writes in chapter one: Some to be sure, are preaching Christ even from envy and strife, but some also from good will; the latter do it out of love,…the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, rather than from pure motives, thinking to cause me Paul distress….What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed.

As pastors’ wives, we can’t just sit on the fringe when there’s disharmony in the church, but we also need to tread gently. We need to ask God to reveal to us the answers to a couple of very pointed questions:

1. Am I doing something to cause disharmony in the church? If so pray
for God’s guidance in how to correct that
2. Is my husband doing something to cause disharmony in the church/ If
so, pray that God would reveal this to him and God would work a
healing in the church.
3. Is the disharmony caused by fractions in the church? If so, pray that
God would reveal ways to restore harmony.

CHECK IT OUT:

Stepping Heavenward
by Rhoda Jore

“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
…for there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.”
Psalm 133:1:3b

A condescending and critical sister-in-law… a grumpy, sickly father-in-law who disapproves of the way you live and questions your walk with God…it may be humanly possible to “live together in unity” with such people from afar, but how about when they live under the same roof as you and your husband and your small children?

Such is the dilemma of Katherine, a fictitious character in Mrs. E. Prentiss’ book, Stepping Heavenward. I’ve read this book a few times now and each time I’ve been amazed to see the transformation that God works in Katherine as she learns to love these difficult people in her life. It doesn’t come about easily. She goes through a dark season of resenting her husband and questioning God, but ultimately she is able to embrace His desire for her to live in unity with her “brothers”. She’s not content to just “grin and bear it”, pretending to accept their presence in her home but inwardly angry, but she chooses to “rejoice that He had seen fit to let them harass and embitter my domestic life”. Only the Holy Spirit can influence such a response. Following her choice, God bestowed his blessing on her by filling her with a generous, forgiving love for these two people.

I have experienced this life-giving blessing from God when I have chosen love and unity over hatred and discord. It is interesting how a conscious choice usually precedes actual feelings of love. That choice can only come when I am dependent on the help of the Holy Spirit to live in a God-honoring way with those whom I am in community.

IN MY OPINION:

In each HEARTLINE you will be presented with “a question”. The question will give you three to four answer options to choose from. The response answers will be tabulated and the percentages will then be given in the following HEARTLINE issue. And, then again, another question with answer options will be given and so on.

Question:

In what region of the country were you born?

a. North East
b. South East
c. Midwest
d. North West
e. South West

Please respond to this question by e-mailing ek4swenson@gmail.com. Thank you.

Due to loosing our former e-mail account last month, I don’t know who may have e-mailed a response to the last blog’s question. Up until loosing our account, the responses were that EASTER was the favorite holiday.

Prayer: Jesus, in your Word you tell us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Rom. 12:18). Search my heart and my motives Lord: change me. Help me to live in such a way that promotes peace in my daily relationships. Amen.

HERE’S WHAT’S COOKING:

Curried Chicken Sandwich with Cranberries and Pine Nuts
(Runners World April 2009)

1 pound cooked cubed chicken breast
3 Tbsp dried cranberries
3 Tbsp toasted pine nuts
1 cup apple chopped
¼ cup mayo
¼ cup fat free sour cream
1 Tbsp honey mustard
1 Tbsp ground curry
Fresh spring greens
Whole wheat bread or pitas

Mix chicken, pine nuts, cranberries and apple. Then in another bowl, mix rest of ingredients until mixed thoroughly. Combine. Place chicken mix on bread or pita, top with greens. Enjoy!

Chai Latte
Mix the following together (I put mine in a jar and just shook it up).
15-16 oz non-dairy vanilla flavored creamer
1/2 c. powered sugar
1/2 c. unsweetened instant tea mix
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp cardamon
1 tsp ground cloves
Then, add to taste to milk

IDEAS THAT WORK: WHAT ABOUT WMF?

CREATING RELATIONSHIPS THAT
“FLY ON EAGLES WINGS?”
Cheryl Skordahl


Like the two wings of an eagle, the women in our churches need to work harmoniously so their relationships will soar!

How about taking a cue from the wife of our AFLC President, Faith Nelson? Asked to speak at the women’s banquet at a WMF Convention, she ended her talk by handing out an 81/2 X 11 sheet of white paper and asked everyone to write their name and address on it (you could add phone # and e-mail address). She proceeded to instruct the women on how to make a flying airplane out of the paper. Then, unexpectedly, she asked this normally reserved group of banquet women to stand up and fly their paper airplane into the air. Whosever airplane you caught, you were to write a note of encouragement and send it to that woman.

This is a great way to create more tender/fun-loving relationships between the women of your church. Why not try it at your next meeting? “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone that loves knows God.”

GETTING TO KNOW YOU:

An Interview With Laurel Johnson
By Mary Pollestad

This issue’s interview is going to be with Laurel Johnson who lives Northwest of Cambridge, MN. This interview is somewhat different from the others in that we will be talking to Laurel about insights and wisdom that she has received over the years in the ministry. Her husband is retired or maybe semi retired we might say as he serves wherever the Lord may lead him to fill the pulpit as needed. Wendell and Laurel have 4 grown sons and 1 grown daughter. Her insight comes from the years serving the Dalton Parish of 4 churches, Stacy, MN area of two churches and Spicer, MN area. When I asked Laurel what her ministry was in the church she said, “Well, that would be music.” “Also, Bible Studies with the ladies, and just being a part of what and who they are.” “Planning, praying, rejoicing and sometimes a little crying,” she said. I asked Laurel if she was going to give any advise to a pastor’s wife going into the ministry after seminary or to a pastor’s wife who is leaving a church that she and her husband have served for 8-12 years what would she advise? “Well,” she said as she thought. “Ease into things very gently and get a whole overview of the people.” “Get to know them all” she suggested. “Let’s see, always give compliments where compliments are due and encourage. “Watch out not to be too overbearing” she warned. “Most of all have a servant heart,” she said. The next question I asked Laurel was, “How does a pastor’s wife use the talents that God has given her if no one in the church recognizes them and asks her to use them?” “Well,” she said, “first of all, pray that God would open up someone’s heart to see the blessed gift that God has given you.” “Then too,” she said. “If you have become close to someone in the church you might say to them, ‘if there is an opportunity or need in this or that area I would be happy to help.’” I asked Laurel what she would suggest for all of us pastor’s wives to remember about the ministry with our husbands. “Well, you know it is a TEAM ministry,” She said. “Explain that,” I said to her. “It is supporting your husband 100%.” “Supporting what he is doing.” “If he asks you to help say yes.” “If you have young children and can’t go on visitations you can still be praying for him and give him Freedom in the Lord.” I asked her to explain Freedom in the Lord. “Well,” she said. “It is allowing him to do what the Lord wants him to do even if sometimes he makes a mistake.” “Mary, it is not being in charge of but being supportive of.” She reminded me that having a teachable spirit and a lot of flexibility is something that we as pastor’s wives should keep in mind all the time. “What about leaving a congregation? I asked. “Well there are a lot of positives when you leave a congregation,” she said. “You have the love and kindness of people that just overwhelms you.” “You have Bible Studies and prayer together and good memories and forever friends.” If Laurel was going to give all of us things to remember as pastor’s wives she would say this. “Remember that first you are the wife to your husband and second the mother of your children.” “Spend time with your husband and have a little fun.” She laughed. “Because things get too serious sometimes.” One thing that Laurel warned us all about is not to get bitter. If we get bitter, we crawl within ourselves to protect ourselves from getting hurt and then we won’t fulfill the radiant person that God wants us to be. Hopefully some of this you can take for your life as you serve as a TEAM with your husband in the ministry.