NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

The Wife’s Fear-Anxiety

Fear is crippling to the mind, heart and body. It can immobilize you to where you cannot even move out of your home or car or situation. Sometimes your heart races so much you can’t even hear you’re thinking process. Fear is very real. If you have experienced fear in this way it cannot be stopped by just telling yourself to not be afraid. It takes a lot more than that. It takes God actually moving you in baby steps. Sometimes you may have to ask the Lord to help you just walk from the edge of the house out to the curb to get your mail. It takes a divine intervention to get you out to the curb. It is better to take just the baby steps one at a time. Not pressing you to go huge steps. I will just go to the curb and get the mail. Lord help me to just do that. Fear is not a good thing to have and it certainly draws away from the Lord but it is also a very real fact for many women. It doesn’t matter what your fear may be it is still a fear. That fear can drive us. It totally consumes us sometimes so that it is a part of our life on a daily diet. That is when we need to ask the Lord to control our fear. God recognizes that we have the fear. He wants to give us peace of mind heart and soul. We have to put our full trust in Him and lean on Him even to get out to the curb to get the mail. “Jesus says, Thou shalt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” The mind plays a big part in FEAR. If your mind is thinking about the FEAR all of the time, your mind is not peaceful. Therefore in order to keep a peaceful mind your mind must be concentrating on Him alone. God does not want us to have FEAR. He wants us to be full of joy and not crippled by one of Satan’s plots. Sometimes God uses other Christians to intercede for us. Sometimes the voice of a believer can calm us and God uses that person to calm our hearts. Intercession is a wonderful tool to be used for those who suffer FEAR. Psalm 34:4 says “I sought the Lord and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” The point here is that you must seek the Lord and go to Him to help you from the FEAR. What about you? Is there a FEAR in your life that has grown so much that it has hindered you from drawing near to the Lord?

CHECK IT OUT

The Power of Hospitality
by Chuck& Kathie Crismier

As a young pastor’s wife I really don’t think I embraced the idea of hospitality. I would like to think that I didn’t recognize it as my “gift” BUT in complete honesty, I don’t think I was thinking of hospitality as a gift. Truth be told, I was trying to NOT even think of others! Probably at the expense of many lost opportunities on my part. HOSPITALITY IS TO BE CULTIVATED IN EACH OF US. Do you agree? It probably is to be the natural overflow of Christ’s love in us expressing itself to others in hospitality. However, how it displays itself in each of us may differ! This book, The Power of Hospitality is intriguing and enlightening. Read it to see how “an open heart, open hand, and open home will change your world!”

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

GETTING AWAY

Home. We appreciate it more when we can get away from it and slide into some degree of anonymity. Often, we are more grateful for it when we come back from time away to once again enjoy our own beds, our own coffee makers, and our own routines. Do you have a get away planned for this summer? Even if it is a mini-vacation, a few days away from our normal household demands can bring us back refreshed and more appreciative of our God given homes.

My dining room looks like a laundry room and camping store exploded within it's walls. Usually, this would make me as nervous as my dog in a lightning storm, but it actually makes me one happy momma. Why? Because it means that preparations for our upcoming vacation are well under way. At the time of this writing, I'm anticipating seeing many of you at the AFLC Annual Conference. While this is a very enjoyable time for us, it is still part of our "work" as we participate in discussions and hear updates on the various ministries within our church at large.

The day after Conference officially begins our vacation. While our plans have never included a cruise, resort, or five star hotel, we still feel like we are getting away grandly while we stay in our tents and cook over the Coleman stove. Long, long, long ago, I used to feel guilty at taking two weeks to devote to JUST family. That guilt I quickly found to be false, and threw it away and began to accept the blessing of spending uninterrupted time with my husband and children.

One of our children has already flown the nest, and this year finds us taking our second camping adventure without him. Our missing him serves as a reminder of how important it is to take the time to create memories with the other children still at home. His leaving also reinforces our conscience decision to take vacation even though for us it doesn't involve cruises or resorts.

Another deciding factor for us in getting away, is that it makes us better servants when we come back home. Even though we return with loads of dirty laundry, gallons of sand in the car, and the inevitable buckets of rocks and pine cones, we arrive refreshed and ready to be used as God would use us.

Time is short, children grow and go, and what is left is memories. What better reason for getting away?

IDEAS THAT WORK

HEALTH for BODY (Physical) SOUL (Mind, Will, Emotions) SPIRIT (Spiritual)

The Soul

The Soul. It consists of your mind, will and emotions. It is what makes you - you. Have you ever desired to be well in these areas? Have you ever desired to help people on this level? A few articles ago, I mentioned stress as the number one root problem of most of our diseases. Stress has its beginnings in our mind, will and emotions. That is one of the reasons that our Lord says to take our thoughts captive. 2 Corinthians 10:5. Does it stand to reason that we need education for healing in this area?

This past month, I had the privilege of attending The Healing Academy sponsored by Wind of the Spirit Ministries. This 4 ½ day seminar dealt with: Jesus’ Model for Ministry; Abba, Father; Healing of the Human Spirit; The Holy Spirit; Word of Knowledge; Forgiveness and The Healing Process; The Power of the Spoken Word; Judgments and Vows; Emotional Healing; Human Sexuality; Healing from Sexual Brokenness; The God of All Comfort; Deliverance; Physical Healing; Scriptural Guidelines to Ministering in the Power of the Holy Spirit; and A Service of Healing and Wholeness. It is important to have education but education without experience is just head knowledge. The sessions give you education plus practical, hands-on experience in the classroom.

Why do I mention this? So, you will have a resource. They respond to requests for seminars. For pastors and their wives, they suggest they attend a pastors and wives seminar first because of the honest, sensitive nature for your own healing. Then, prayerfully, consider a seminar for your own church.

Any interest for a pastors and wives seminar? Contact Lori at loriawillard@gmail.com or 218-463-3756.

Pay attention to “soul” in these verses: Psalm 19:7, Psalm 23:3, Psalm 119:175, Psalm 142:4, Isaiah 55:3, Matthew 16:26, Mark 12:29-31, I Thessalonians 5:23, Hebrews 10:39, James 5:19-20, 3 John 2.

Resource: www.wosm-nw.org

HERE'S WHATS COOKING

Grilled Peaches

Ingredients

3 tablespoons white sugar
3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 teaspoons freshly ground black peppercorns
2 large fresh peaches with peel, halved and pitted
2 1/2 ounces blue cheese, crumbled

Directions

1. In a saucepan over medium heat, stir together the white sugar, balsamic vinegar, and pepper. Simmer until liquid has reduced by one half. It should become slightly thicker. Remove from heat, and set aside.
2. Preheat grill for medium-high heat.
3. Lightly oil the grill grate. Place peaches on the prepared grill, cut side down. Cook for about 5 minutes, or until the flesh is caramelized. Turn peaches over. Brush the top sides with the balsamic glaze, and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes.
4. Transfer the peach halves to individual serving dishes, and drizzle with remaining glaze. Sprinkle with crumbled blue cheese.

Rhubarb Crisp Recipes

Ingredients:

1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup quick cooking rolled oats
1/2 cup melted butter
1 teaspoon cinnamon
4 cups sliced rhubarb
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla


Preparation:

In mixing bowl, combine brown sugar, flour, oats, butter and cinnamon; mix together until crumbly. Press half of the brown sugar and oats mixture into a buttered 8-inch square baking dish. Top with the sliced rhubarb. In a saucepan combine 1 cup granulated sugar, cornstarch, and the 1 cup of water and vanilla. Cook together until clear, then pour over rhubarb. Top rhubarb with remaining crumb mixture and bake

(allrecipes.com, about.com)

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,

As we tend to our homes, give us a spirit of joy in our service. While we clean, organize, prepare, and plan, help us remember that our roles in the homes are of eternal importance in Your eyes. As we repeat the same tasks again and again, help us to praise You again and again for our families, homes, and plans that You have for our good.

Do not let us be gripped by fear and worry as we are faced with pressure from without and within to do something of more importance in the world's eyes. Whether we have employment outside the home or not, help us see the value in creating warm, hospitable homes for our family and friends as of first importance.

Father, thank You for being the cornerstone of our homes, and of our hearts. May our work be a reflection of our love and gratitude to You.

Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

THE INTERVIEWS IN REVIEW

It has been six months hearing from many of our pastor’s wives through interviews.

What has been the main theme for all the interviews? From the oldest Pastor’s wife to the youngest we have heard many things but some things remained the same for all the interviews. Let us look at some of these. The first one is when I asked what they thought there ministry was in the church that they served with their husbands every lady said, “First it is to my husband” Not one lady was coached to say this but each lady said that it was their first ministry. We give Glory to God for all of these women who have been such testimonies to us. The second one was to their children. Taking care of their children needs was the ministry that they felt God leading them in. The third area then varied from one lady to the next with each one of them having different interests from crafts, music, children’s ministries, Bible studies and many more.

Now the other important thing that we have noticed is that when asked “How would you encourage each of our Pastor’s wives they all said to stay in the Word of God at all times to not leave it. This is a key to all of us who are in the ministry and to those wives who will be going into the ministry. Each time these ladies shared they also said that prayer is the key. The other main thing that was shared is that we are to be good listeners to our husbands. They need us to be sounding blocks and to pray for them in each situation. Another main theme that was said by many is to be who you are. Some like to send quick breads to the shut ins. Others like to visit the sick with their husbands and still others like to talk on the phone with some of the women who never get phone calls. Whatever it is that God has you to do in your church home just be who you are don’t try be like someone else. Sometimes we like to compare ourselves to other women and that only brings frustration.

This has just been a little taste of what has been shared over the last six months. For those of you who have not been able to read the interviews we hope that this gives you an insight of what was shared.

FOCUS

The Excellent Wife

There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

The Wife’s Heart – CHRIST

Let’s build on previous articles based on THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace, specifically addressing:

THE WIFE’S DAY-TO-DAY HEART’S DEVOTION TO CHRIST.

As I write this, the word “why” comes to mind” Why does this topic need to be addressed among pastor’s wives? Perhaps our devotion and longing may not always purely and solely to the Lord Jesus. Like other’s, we have idols in our hearts. According to Ms. Peace, “An idol can be anything. It may even be a good thing. But if we want it so badly that we sin if we don’t get it or sin to attain it, then we are worshiping an idol rather than Christ. We worship what we serve, speak about, sacrifice for, seek after, spend time and money on, and trust in.” (Ps. 115 & 135) Let’s look into our own hearts and ask these questions:

What’s frequently on my mind?
What’s being wished for?
What’s really important?

And because we’re women J, let’s look at the area of romance or in this instance, more appropriately called non-romance. Allison (a fictional character) tells her story with tears welling up in her eyes. She says her husband is the problem as he’s not affectionate; he uses her for sex and never tells her that he loves her. She says, “He doesn’t talk much, and watches TV all the time when he’s home. He’ll do things if she asks him but he should be taking the initiative.” She doesn’t want to live the rest of her life with a husband who doesn’t really care. She is miserable.

What’s the answer to Allison’s predicament? Her husband is not mean but reserved and somewhat selfish. He is satisfied with their lives as they are, but Allison is not. She wants to be cherished, special, plus she craves conversation and attention. She wants romance and sweetness – that’s not a bad thing – but when women set their hearts on romance and special feelings instead of setting their hearts on serving and worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ, frequently the result is a life full of disappointment, frustration, and bitterness. She needs a heart renewal. Her deepest desires need to be those recorded in Psalm 119. The Psalmist desired, sought after, and longer for God with his whole heart.

“Non-romance is not the only thing we women set our hearts on. Common idols (false gods) about which Christian wives struggle are: Being in good health, physical appearance, being treated fairly, having a pain-free emotional life, children, material things, money, success, other’s approval, being in control, having our “needs” met.

Grasp this: Like Allison, whenever compulsion toward anything in life becomes more important than the Lord Jesus Christ, God frustrates that idol worship because He wants our pure devotion. Do any of us desires a life of frustration?

Allison’s husband (whom she was blaming) was not the origin of the problem; it was her heart’s devotion toward having a pain-free emotional life and having her own needs met. That’s what she was worshipping. Those were her idols. What are yours? Worship goes on every waking moment of every day. Where is your worship directed? Is it to the Lord? Or to an idol…..

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

Control of the Wife’s Tongue

When careless, angry, abusive or even malicious words come out of mouth and are said to my husband, it is because my heart isn’t right with my Lord. My rash words can deeply wound my husband. They sometimes inflict pain. Matthew 12:34 says, “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” If I say wrong words they begin with wrong thoughts. I need to stop immediately and think about what I am thinking. If it is not Christ honoring I need to stop and renew my mind with scripture. Ask the Lord’s forgiveness and allow my heart to be renewed. Then the right words will come out of my mouth with a sweet sound.

I will be heard much more from my husband if my speech is forbearing and sweet. Proverbs 25:15 says, “By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded and a soft tongue breaks the bone.” Also, a Godly wife is wise and kind. When I open my mouth to speak wisdom and kindness should flow out. I receive wisdom from the Word of God and my kindness from the Holy Spirit. Again if I may repeat myself, I need to be in the Word daily, searching scripture verses and listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit and not my own thoughts.

Here are some hints that have helped me to practice my speech. Practice it over again and again until I know exactly what I am going to say. I also can practice the tone in which I am going to say it. I can also practice saying it out loud alone. A Godly woman is a trained woman. Proverbs 10:20 “The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little.” Lord help me to work on my tongue so it is like a precious jewel and not an ugly rusty piece of metal.

CHECK IT OUT

Book Review

"One Thousand Gifts"

by Ann Voskamp

With tears of repentance over past resentments and grumblings and combined with expressions of joy over new insights into God's Word and his patience with me, I finished reading, "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. There is not one of us that does not seek after joy . . . . yes, . . . that fullness of joy our Lord promised (John 15:11). Time and again Voskamp cements the truth in our minds that God's gift of the feeling of joy begins in the act of thanksgiving. In her beautiful style of poetic language we read Voskamp's work as though she has let us see her private diary. She shows how thanksgiving . . . .yes, gratitude . . . "gently peeled back the layers of her wounds to heal." She leads her readers to a deeper understanding of gratitude by sharing her struggles and joys as a writer, global advocate for the poor, farmer's wife and homeschooling mother of "half a dozen kids." Voskamp's book also gave me that "Aha" moment as to the benefits of a previous book I had neglected to finish by Nancy DeMoss and it gave me the desire to pick it up again. In her book, "Choosing Gratitude," DeMoss re-affirmed and drove home the new insights I had learned. She saturates our minds with Scripture and very skillfully connects the dots from gratitude . . . to joy . . . to worship. In our worship we are reminded that this too is possible, . . . to give thanks for our thorns through God's endless grace. Oh to see that grace . . .to give thanks . . . and to find joy which leads us to true worship. Because life is always changing, bringing new challenges and new responses, these two books have a prominent place on my bookshelf and will doubtless be re-read in my lifelong process of achieving a grateful heart. The choice is always there. When we choose gratitude and a lifestyle of thanksgiving and receive God's grace, we will experience joy and participate in true worship.

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

Decorating Your Home

Have you ever been encouraged while you decorated your home to bring the “outdoors in?” Well, now is the perfect time of year to think about bringing the “indoors out!” Your home isn’t just what is contained in the physical space of your house’s walls, but extends to wherever you are. A great relaxing way to enjoy your home this summer is to think of your backyard as one more family room.

Don’t have a deck? An affordable and fun idea (I promise you it is as I’ve done it) is to pick up some old wood palettes, paint them a cheery color and coat them with an outdoor grade clear varnish. You could do several different colors and place them together for a fun “tiled” look. Place a few potted plants, a small table and chairs, and you have a great spot to relax or entertain friends.

You want everyone to feel welcome in your backyard except - mosquitoes! Don’t forget to light some citronella candles, found at any hardware or discount store, shortly before you plan on using your outdoor space. Also, have plenty of insect repellent and sunscreen on hand not only for your family, but for any guests who may need some protection from the elements.

Even if you don’t have little ones at home anymore, it’s always a hit to have a bucketful of outdoor toys ready for young guests. Bubbles, rubber balls, sidewalk chalk, and if you have space, a sand table are great to have on hand. A few years ago I picked up a sand/water table with an attachable cover and that has proven to be my best investment for keeping my own children and their friends happily playing for hours.

Croquet and badminton sets are old school outdoor games that still are enjoyed by teens and adults. Chances are you already have a set in your garage, and if not they are easily found at yard sales or discount stores. If you have older kids/young adults in your household, make sure that they have comfortable size lawn chairs and maybe their own table for playing games on if you want to enjoy some conversation with other grown-ups.

Grilling is perhaps one of the easiest ways to bring family life outdoors. Have family members divide up side dish prep duties and everyone will have more time for enjoying their shish-ka-bob and beautiful weather. As you set your table, consider using a clean colorful bed sheet for a tablecloth. If you are hosting a party and don’t want to be worrying about cleanup right after supper, have a big bucket of soapy water where guests can put their dishes and utensils to soak so wash time later will be simplified.

Enjoy having a “bigger” house this summer. Utilizing your yard is the most affordable addition you can make to your home!

IDEAS THAT WORK

Health for the Body, Soul, and Spirit

Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar

Read 3 John 2 and Genesis 6:3

The miracles of apple cider vinegar (ACV) for a stronger, longer, healthier life:
· Promotes a youthful skin and vibrant healthy body.
· Removes artery plaque, infections and body toxins.
· Fights germs, viruses, bacteria and mold naturally.
· Retards old age onset in humans, pets and farm animals.
· Regulates calcium metabolism.
· Keeps blood the right consistency.
· Regulates women’s menstration, relieves PMS, and UTI.
· Normalizes urine PH, relieving frequent urge to urinate.
· Helps digestion, assimilation, and helps balance the PH.
· Relieves sore throats, laryngitis and throat tickles and cleans out throat and gum toxins.
· Protects against food poisoning and even brings relief if you do get it.
· Detoxes the body so sinus, asthma, and flu sufferers can breathe easier and more normally.
· Banishes acne, athlete’s foot, soothes burns, sunburns.
· Prevents itching scalp, baldness, and dry hair.
· Banishes dandruff, rashes, and shingles.
· Fights arthritis and helps remove crystals and toxins from joints, tissues, organs and entire body.
· Controls and normalizes body weight.

ACV Drink Daily: 1T. in 4 oz. purified water upon rising, one hour before lunch, and one hour before dinner.

Recently I fasted using the Bragg’s method of alternating pure water with diluted fresh vegetable juice to give my body a rest. Result: I had more energy and I had lost a couple of pounds in one day. They suggest weekly one-day fasts and a fast for a couple of days a month to help rid the body of toxin build up. I read one portion that uses a Bragg’s solution as an eyewash. If following prescribed eyewash, there is no need for cataract surgery! I strongly recommend purchasing the $9.95 book and read all the benefits for yourself.

Resources: “Apple Cider Vinegar Health System” by Paul C. Bragg and Patricia Bragg. Christian authors educating public on natural health and healing.

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING

Watermelon Summer Salad

Ingredients

3/4 cup halved, thinly sliced red onion
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 1/2 quarts seeded, cubed watermelon
3/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/2 cup pitted black olive halves
1 cup chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

1. Place the onion slices in a small bowl with the lime juice. The acid of the lime will mellow the flavor of the raw onion. Let stand for 10 minutes.
2. In a large bowl, combine the watermelon cubes, feta cheese, black olives, onions with the lime juice, and mint. Drizzle olive oil over it all, and toss to blend. Dig in and be prepared for a pleasant surprise!

Mid-Summer Italian Bread Salad

Ingredients

1 clove garlic
1 (1 pound) loaf Italian bread
1 cup chopped tomatoes
1 cup cucumber - peeled, seeded and chopped
1 cup chopped red onion
1 clove garlic, minced
2 cups chopped fresh basil
1/8 cup chopped fresh thyme
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Directions

1. Rub a peeled clove of garlic around a wooden salad bowl.
2. Pull apart or chop the bread into bite-size pieces.
3. In the prepared salad bowl, combine the bread, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, garlic, basil and thyme. Add enough olive oil and vinegar to lightly coat, toss and serve.

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,

May our tongues reflect the joy in our hearts as we serve you by serving our husbands. Cleanse us from thoughts, attitudes, and ultimately actions, that hinder us in our role as wives. Help us to use words that build up, rather than tear down. May our words encourage our husbands and speak truth to them. Let our words echo those of the pslamist when he said, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer."

Amen.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

An Interview With Judy Franz

Judy Franz is the wife of Peter Franz serving Grace Free Lutheran in Maple Grove, Minnesota. They have seven children and three grandchildren.

When I asked Judy what ministry she was involved in at Grace Free Lutheran she said, “Well first it would be to support my husband.” “She said, “Praying for him, encouraging him and attending the activities of the church.” “My personality is of a helping nature, so wherever I can help is where I am most comfortable.” She supports the women’s leaders and ministries in the church but being involved in children’s ministries whether it is teaching Sunday School or VBS is probably where she feels the most comfortable.

Judy had several encouraging thoughts for all of us. 1) Keep close to God through Bible Reading and Prayer. Allow every situation to cause you to grow closer to Christ. Make Jesus your closest friend. 2) Pray about everything to lift the burden of worry. Ask God to be in control of any interruptions in the day. 3) Support your husband and care for your children. Make the home to be a place where they can be refreshed to face the pressures of the outside world. 4) Don’t compare yourself to other pastor’s wives. God has given us all different talents and characteristic, and different energy levels and we are all at different stages of our lives. Do what you believe that God wants you to do after seeking Him about this. 5) Show appreciation for kindnesses of others. 6) Be a friend to all women in your church 7) Be an encourager smiles don’t cost anything so give them away. 8) Say hi to the woman who is standing alone in church. 9) Don’t gossip. 10) Focus on the blessings of the church you are in because it is not always greener on the other side of the fence. 11) All pastor’s wives feel inadequate sometimes. We worry if we are doing enough and often get down on ourselves. Ask for God’s guidance and do your best knowing God will bless your efforts. Satan tries to destroy us with discouragement. 12) Have joy in serving Jesus because what is done for Him has eternal value.

Judy’s favorite verse is Psalm 121:1,2. It was a favorite verse of her mother’s and it has special meaning to her also. I lift up my eyes to the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

FOCUS

The Excellent Wife

There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

A WIFE’S UNDERSTANDING OF HER ROLE
From the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace

Here’s an elementary question: “Who was created first, Adam or Eve?” Does this order have any significance when thinking about the roles of husband and wife?

Recently I watched the movie “Fire Proof” again. The scene when the firemen (with the help of bystanders) were pushing the car off the tracks as the train approached unable to stop, was once again a traumatic experience for me. As I write this article, I am reminded that each one was aware of the danger but more importantly they were aware of the critical importance of the teamwork, as the captain counted “1,2,3, push!” They functioned together as a team with one goal in mind – the safety of those trapped in the vehicle. Just as a local fire department is assigned roles (everyone is not the captain), God has assigned a particular role for the wife and husband. If our goal is to glorify God, we must understand and accept God’s perspective in our relationships. He is the mighty one who has the insight of both Creator and Redeemer. Open your Bibles as you study the next paragraphs –

Men and women are created in the image of God. “…in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them.” (Gen 1:27.)
Man was created first, then woman was created to be his helper. “…for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but the woman for man’s sake.” (I Cor. 11:9) The Trinity can be used as a role model because within the Trinity there are three distinct roles. The planner – God the Father, the one who carried out the plans – God the Son, the one who empowers Christians – God the Spirit. Here is perfect harmony, no role confusion. Look up Jn. 9:4; 8:28,29; 14:26; 16:13,14; 17:4 and ask the Lord to lead you into His truth. In marriage, just as Christ glorified the Father by doing the Father’s “work,” we are to glorify our husbands by doing the husband’s “work.” Your role is to glorify your husband. You were created for him. Gen 3:16, Eph 5:22 – 24, 32.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Christ actually died, sacrificed Himself for the sake of the church, as husbands sacrifice themselves for the sake of their wives. Further, “…husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies…nourishes and cherishes…” Eph 5:28,29,33.

Practically speaking, what are some ways a pastor’s wife may be the glory of her husband? Here are a few ideas I gleaned from the book:
Ask your husband: What are your goals for the week? How can I help you accomplish them? Is there anything I can do that would make it easier for you? Possibilities include – run errands for him, be available to help with projects, pray for him, make good suggestions and give him the freedom not to use your suggestions.
Consider your husband over children, parents, friends, job, Bible studies, etc.
Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander at all, even if what you could say is true.
Make him breakfast to help him get off to a good start, take care in recording telephone messages, keep careful record of money spent to keep the budget in order.
Be warm and gracious to family, friends, and congregational members. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to all.

There are many other worthwhile suggestions on page 55 of The Excellent Wife.

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

The Basis of The Wife’s Protection-Submission

Submission to our husbands is the way God intended it to be in the family. In the book of Genesis God created Adam. He created Eve as a helpmate because it was not good for man to be alone. Ephesians 5:22-24 says “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord, For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” This is the order that God planned for marriage.

“Submission” in the Greek means to place in an orderly fashion under. This ranking of the wife under the husband’s authority was sovereignly chosen by God so that there will be order and harmony in the home. She has a different rank or position; she is not an inferior person. Christian wives need to see themselves as God sees them. We can see in Titus 2: 4-5 that Paul instructs the older women to train the younger women to love their husbands to be kind and being subject to their own husbands that the Word of God may not be dishonored. This is the heart of God for us wives.

Sometimes we don’t always feel like being submissive to our husbands. We can be submissive though by the grace of God and with a Godly motive. All of this is done for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. There is always joy in glorifying the Lord. Thus we are in obedience to God. When we are in obedience to God we receive a blessing.

If we have not been submissive at times we can ask the Lord to forgive us. I John 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” It is as it says if we confess, He is faithful to forgive, and to cleanse us from all unrightousness.” So it is gone. It is wiped off and we can begin then to be gentle, tender and have gracious obedience towards our husbands in submission once again.

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Book Review

LOVE IS A VERB – (“Stories of What Happens When Love Comes Alive”)
by Gary Chapman (from Bethany House Publishers)

In the mug tree on my kitchen counter is a favorite which says “Let all you do be done in love” (I Corinthians 16:14). Perhaps I was led to read Love is a Verb because of the need to be often reminded of the above verse, for my “old nature” doesn’t always want to act or respond in love. I have also appreciated the concepts in Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, but in either case, I was attracted to this newer book which gives encouragement to never stop loving.

Included in this book are 40 different true stories about ordinary people who made the choice to love through the vast stresses and complexities of modern day human relationships. Any adult reader can “connect” with their challenges and relate to many of their personal situations. These examples express a “demonstrated” kind of love. This love needs to be evident in our marriages, to our families, our parishioners, our co-workers, friends, and even to those among us whom we may perceive as unlovable. Real and visible love can and does make a difference.

After each story the author highlights a key element that can help and inspire one to put love into action. Sometimes that action may mean just “being there” for the person we care about. At other times there are more tangible ways to show love. It’s not just about “Me,” for love is an investment of one’s self in another. “It’s not about who other people are, or how they treat us or what they do to make us value them. It begins with you, and it’s not primarily about what you say or feel. Instead, love is an action word; it’s a choice you have to make. Love is a verb.”

Six Little Words with the Power to Change Your Life
Living Proof Live with Beth Moore for Ministers Wives

How would you sum up your life in 6 words? That is the question Beth Moore asks as she shares with ministers wives in this digital download. Teaching from the book of Galatians Beth focuses on the unique challenges faced by wives whose husbands serve in ministry. Ministry is hard. If you have ever felt worn out and frustrated or even at a loss how to serve this series will be of great encouragement to you.

As Beth gives 6 aggravations in ministry she also provides 6 Biblical alternatives or responses. For example, aggravation number 2 is: Seek Their Approval, Become Their Slave. She asks the question, “Who is it that you need approval from?” When we look for approval from others it puts us in a love/hate relationship with them. We play into people’s vanity when we seek their approval. We also need to be careful to not allow a rebellious spirit to seek people’s disapproval. The Alternative is: Seek God’s Approval, Find Your Peace. As we develop and deepen our relationship with God, He will help us to focus on what He wants us to do and will show us where our energies should go. As Beth states, “Let your Savior tend to you!” Beth encourages women in ministry to reconnect with that first grace of Christ.

Beth also addresses the fact that the biggest problem for ministers’ wives is loneliness. Women were made for deep friendships. But, as another aggravation states: Work with People, Expect Titanic Problems. When we find ourselves getting short with people, getting cranky, it is time for refreshing! There are 3 dangers in this aggravation: competition, outright conflict and criticism. Learn to recognize the red flags. Remember, in every conflict our fight is not against flesh and blood, but evil powers and principalities. Every day we need to be sure to put on the “armor of God”. We are to choose to trust and let the Lord guide us in those friendships. Seek Him and His refreshing so that we may always be a blessing even in the difficult places.

One can find this download at the Lifeway Publishing website listed under downloads. It is reasonably priced and once purchased and downloaded to your computer it is yours to revisit again and again. The series is divided into two 60 minute sessions and one 30 minute session. Personally this teaching gave me valuable insight, encouragement and renewed my spirit. I can guarantee that you will need a box of tissues by the end. I pray her words will encourage you as they did me. As Beth states, “Remember, we serve the King!” How awesome is that?