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The Excellent Wife

There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

LOVE, the WIFE’S C H O I C E
From the book THE EXCELLENT WIFE by Martha Peace

Did you notice the emphasis on the word “Choice?” How could you help but notice? It could be an insignificant word, but I “chose” to give it emphasis. No matter what has happened between a husband and wife, if we choose to ask, the Lord can give love for each other that was never dreamed possible. We need only ask, and the Lord will give.

Even under trying circumstances, we can show love to our husbands because God’s “grace is sufficient” (II Corinthians 12:9). God will give us supernatural power (grace) to show love, if we obey God by thinking loving thoughts and doing loving actions toward our husbands. There are times when we need to put our feelings on the shelf, even go directly against feelings and do what we know is right – showing and acting love to our husbands.

Martha Peace says, that when godly love is expressed between husband and wife, they will often experience tender feelings and a sweetness that they never experienced during the early years of “romantic” love.

We as women are usually good at choosing to be neighborly – sharing a cup of sugar, giving garden transplants, getting together for no other reason than just to be together. “Love your neighbor” is the way the Bible says it in Matthew 22:39. We are reminded to give our husband’s this same kind of consideration. She says, in fact, that our husbands are our closest neighbors! Wow, that’s worth our consideration, isn’t it?

The author teaches that there are three categories of sin that will destroy love in a marriage: Selfishness, bitterness or fear – and often a combination of these three.

Selfishness: It is revolutionary in our American culture today to hear someone express the “Deny yourself” concept. The idea of “Putting others first” is so foreign. Yet that is exactly what God asks us to do. If husbands and wives are to have joy and fulfillment in marriage, each must put themselves aside and place God and others first.

Bitterness: Wives may express that they feel “hurt” and “resentful” toward their husbands. These emotions are how women feel when they are bitter. If you feel ungrateful, vengeful, have a loss of joy or excessive sorrow, are critical or brooding – you may be manifesting bitterness. Since bitterness hinders biblical love, ask the Lord to reveal the percentage of your fault, then take responsibility for that percentage by the “Put Off-Put On” method as recorded in Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart… and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

Fear: A common struggle for many wives, fear makes it difficult to love our husbands. Whether the fear may be that he will die, leave you, or even abuse you in some way, the key to overcoming fear is to trust God and love your husband. I Peter 3:6 says “do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”

Love is the character quality on which we must concentrate. Memorize I Corinthians 13:4-7 and write out each aspect of love within this Scripture. What concrete ways can you express love to your husband through your thoughts or your actions?

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

A WIFE’S LONELINESS

There are many examples of loneliness in the Bible. Some of these are Elijah, Jeremiah and Paul. There are also many reasons for loneliness. One woman’s loneliness may not be another woman’s.

Loneliness just like anything else can become the main thought pattern of your life. When it becomes the only thing you dwell on it will draw you away from the Lord.
It will capture you. That is when the focus becomes on us and not on the Lord. The tempter then can take us into many areas of loneliness but we must remember that the Lord can overcome these things. He is powerful. Sometimes we get so ensnared in the loneliness that we cannot focus on what the Lord can do for us to help us with the loneliness.

There is a chorus of a song I like to sing when I am lonely.

You’ll never be lonely again never again.
If you will open your hearts door to Him,
He will brush away your tears and forget your
Foolish fears, you’ll never be lonely again.
Never Again.

Now some may say, this little chorus is talking about coming to know Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord. The songwriter may have been talking about that but for me, when I am lonely there are many different things that make me lonely. Sometimes it is tears and sometimes it is foolish fears. If I open my heart to Him I won’t be lonely. The circumstances may not have changed around me but I will feel and know His presence and I will feel peaceful.

There are many Bible verses that we can use during our lonely times.

Psalm 9:9,10 says The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For you, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Those are powerful words for any of us who suffer with loneliness. Be aware that loneliness can be a struggle that we deal with all of our lives but also be aware that God is the one to give the victory during those lonely times. He wants to hear you say to Him that you are lonely and that you need Him to help you. Don’t delay always pray.

CHECK IT OUT

Life Interrupted, Navigating the Unexpected
By Priscilla Shirer

I don’t usually select a book because of it’s title, but the title of this book caught my interest. In Life Interrupted Navigating the Unexpected Priscilla Shirer wants to help us see that life’s interruptions are really God’s divine interruptions. In our lives when something doesn’t go the way we planned we often blame God for this interruption in our life. Priscilla reminds us that God is there, “He is right in the middle of every interruption.”

By taking an in depth look at Jonah and how he dealt with the interruptions in his life, Ms. Shirer shows us how we need to seek God’s forgiveness for our sin and allow God to use these interruptions for His glory. She also reminds us that our God is a God of second chances.

This paragraph from the book sums it up pretty well, “My purpose in writing this book is primarily to help folks like you and me learn how to see our life interruptions as divine interventions and begin surrendering to the authority and sovereignty of the Lord Jesus Christ. I also want to remind us to receive and respond well to our second chances when we’ve blown the first ones.”

I wasn’t expecting to learn so many lessons from the life of Jonah, but the author has done a good job of showing me how I need to learn from Jonah and let God have control of my life’s interruptions.

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

Falling Forward

Fall is in the air! Here in the UP of Michigan, the leaves are at the very beginning stages of displaying their beautiful autumnal tones. The evenings are getting cooler, the air is getting crisper, and before we know it our church and family schedules will follow their new Fall agendas. It's a great time of year for new starts in terms of our home habits and organizational plans.

I'm sure you've noticed that there are many totes, baskets, bins, and bulletin boards on the market. Sales are in swing now as students prepare for their academic year. Managers of the home - take advantage of these good markdowns and products in helping your home function more smoothly.

I've read two pieces of advice when it comes to storage of items family used on a seasonal basis and for keepsake items that aren't on everyday display. The first was to keep labeled cardboard boxes in the garage. I did this for a few years and decided it was not the best system. The boxes got dusty from being in the garage, temperatures fluctuated from lows to highs, and in some regions bugs feasted on cardboard. The next tip I found was the best. Use transparent plastic totes with self locking lids. It's still a great idea to label the totes with an adhesive sticker and a sharpie marker, however being able to glance through the tote's walls and see what's inside saves a lot of time hunting and pecking when you're searching for an item.

A great tool for keeping track of school papers/medical records/receipts is an expandable pocket folder. I've lost more time than I care to think about looking for an important paper I sat down in a special place so I wouldn't lose it, only to not remember where that special place was. There are many bright and cheery colored folders to choose from, and the usually run around $3.00. Choose a different color for each category of papers you need to keep track of and store them all in one place.

Calendars are another tool that make the running of the home easier. I have found that the super large perforated paper ones that you can find at your local super store for under $5 work the best. Have the current month up where everyone can see it. For us that's on the side of the refrigerator. Those big sheets give ample room to record everyone's comings and goings.

I pray as we fall forward into Fall, it will be a with a renewed zeal, joy, and commitment in serving our families for His glory.

IDEAS THAT WORK

HEALTH for BODY (Physical), SOUL (Mind, Will, Emotions), SPIRIT (Spiritual)

MAGNESIUM

The average American does not consume enough magnesium. 90-95% are deficient in magnesium. Magnesium is the most important mineral in your body and participates in over 300 hormonal reactions!

Magnesium deficiencies lead to: insomnia, sleep-disorders, fatigue, body-tension, headaches, heart-disorders, low energy, high blood pressure, PMS, muscle tension, backaches, constipation, kidney stones, osteoporosis, accelerated aging, depression, irregular heartbeat, anxiety, muscle cramps, spasms, irritability, eye twitches, neck pain, difficulty swallowing or lump in throat after eating sugar, loud noise sensitivity, uptightness, salt cravings, chocolate cravings, etc. Consuming proper levels of magnesium relieves all the above problems and also helps: prevent and reverse kidney stone formation, relieve fibromyalgia and chronic pain, treat asthma and emphysema, etc.

The recommended daily allowance is of magnesium is 320 mg for women and 400 mg for men. Ideally, we should be getting 500 – 700 mg per day. People with chronic kidney failure should be careful with magnesium because toxic build up could occur; however, it is difficult to reach toxic levels with people who have normal kidneys. You will know if you have too much because the result will be diarrhea. Easy fix – just back off on the amount of magnesium. Magnesium and calcium intake needs to be about 1 to 2 ratio. If you take 500 mg magnesium supplements then you should take 1000 mg calcium supplements. You may need to adjust if you get good amounts from your diet.

Magnesium rich foods include a variety of whole foods, nuts, seeds and green vegetables. AVOID: refined processed foods.

Supplement with magnesium citrate. Peter Gilliam’s CALM or Magna Calm are two excellent products; used on a short-term basis because magnesium from foods is best.

Yogurt and probiotics help build beneficial bacteria and yeast in your intestines which help absorb magnesium. 1 T. Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar in ½ cup filtered water ½ hour before meals helps magnesium absorption too.

Get your calcium/magnesium levels corrected and most of your medical symptoms will disappear.

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING

Chicken and Biscuit Pie

Ingredients
FILLING:
4 tablespoons butter
1 cup finely chopped onion
1 rib celery, finely chopped
1/3 cup flour
1 1/2 cups chicken stock
1 1/2 cups whole milk
1/2 teaspoon dried sage
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
2 1/2 cups diced cooked chicken
2 cups vegetables of your choice (left-overs or frozen ones that have been thawed)
Salt and pepper

BISCUIT TOPPING
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/4-inch pieces
3/4 cup milk

Instructions
Melt the butter on the stovetop in a Dutch oven or other oven-safe sauté pan with high sides. Stir in the onion and celery, then cover the pan and cook them for 7 to 8 minutes over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Add the flour, stirring for 1 to 2 minutes to lightly brown it.

Whisk the chicken stock into the pan. When it starts to thicken, whisk in the milk. Add the sage, thyme, chicken, and vegetables, continuing to stir until the mixture is heated through, about 5 to 7 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Remove the pan from the stovetop and heat the oven to 375 F. Meanwhile, make the biscuit topping by combining the flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a mixing bowl. Add the butter and use your fingertips to rub it into the dry ingredients. Add the milk and stir briskly, just until the dough pulls together.

Flour your work surface and turn the dough onto it. Using floured hands, knead the dough two or three times, then flatten it to about 1/2 inch thick. Using a small round cutter, cut the dough into biscuits and place as many as will fit, barely touching, on top of the filling. (You can bake any extras separately, on a lightly greased pie plate, for about 15 minutes.)

Bake the potpie until the biscuits are golden brown and the filling is bubbly, about 20 to 30 minutes. Then let it cool for 5 to 10 minutes before serving it. Makes 6 to 8 servings

Recipes by Disney family fun.com

Apple Dumplings

Ingredients
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup dried, sweetened cranberries
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
Premade pastry for an 8- or 9-inch 2 crust pie
4 small, cored baking apples
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup water

Instructions
Combine the raisins, cranberries, walnuts and spices in a bowl and set aside. On a lightly floured cloth-covered surface, roll out the pastry into a 14-inch square, then cut it into 4 squares. Place a cored apple on top of each square and fill the center with the raisin and cranberry mix.

Cover each apple with its pastry square by bringing the opposite corners up over the fruit and pinching them together. Then, seal together all of the pastry edges, moistening them with water if needed. Place the dumplings in a glass baking dish.

In a saucepan, bring the brown sugar and water to a boil, and then pour it over the dumplings (a parent's job). Bake in a preheated 425 degree oven, spooning the syrup over the dumplings a few times, until the crust is golden (about 40 minutes).

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Father,
We confess that our idea of love is so far from Your own. It is far too easy for us to buy into the world's definition of love and forget what Your standard is. Feelings come and go, but your command to love our husbands is based on Your Word, not on our emotional state. Remind us to be faithful in expressing love for our spouses as a reflection of our love for You. During times of loneliness in our marriages, turn our eyes and hearts to You to fill the empty spaces in our lives. As we grow in the realization that with You, we are never alone, may we praise You for being our ever faithful guide and comfort.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

An Interview with Sherri Scavo

Sherri and her husband Pastor Craig Scavo serve Faith Lutheran in Durant Oklahoma. They have two grown children and one grandchild.

When I asked Sherri what her ministry was in the church she immediately said, “My biggest ministry is supporting my husband.” She has been involved in youth, music and WMF ministries. She replied, “I let the Lord draw me into the ministry He wants me to be in.” “The Lord took me into a ministry once that I didn’t think I felt comfortable with but it turned out to be a blessing.”

When I asked Sherri if she could encourage the pastor’s wives what would she say to them she responded with, “Be aware and present in your congregation.” “It is not about the ministry that you do it is just being aware of the members of the congregations.” “This is true for the seminettes as well,” she said, “letting your fellow seminettes know that you care.”

Sherri gave an example of a practical side to being aware and present in the congregation. “For instance, she said, “if there is a lady who is not very vocal but is extremely sensitive in your congregation and the Lord prompts you to call her and you do, you then are being obedient to the Lord.” “Maybe she just wanted someone to visit her and for you to just listen.” “By doing that we show that we care for her.”

“All of us women can be aware of other women and respond to them by letting the Lord lay that woman on our hearts.” “Even by letting them know that you are going to pray for them.” “ It isn’t being a fixer but it is just being aware of what God wants for us.” She said. “ During the 6 years that I have been a pastor’s wife, I have learned that in the ministry just be who you are.” “God uses you for who you are.” “Don’t try to be somebody you are not because they will see right through it”

Another encouragement that Sherri shared with me was to always respond to someone who asks you to serve in this or that capacity with, “I am going to pray about that and talk to my husband and I will get back to you.” Sometimes we are too quick to say no or yes and when we choose to do this properly there is not a negative response. “After all who will argue with you when you say you have to pray about it and talk to your husband”?

When I asked Sherri if she had a favorite Bible verse she said yes and it is placed on my fridge. It was one that she had from seminettes. I Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up just as you are doing (ESV)

“Be aware and encourage one another.” “Don’t get wrapped up in the negativism of the world.” She said. “Be an encouragement to your family, husband and your fellow believers and non-believers.” “Non-believers recognize when individuals are encouraging.” “When we have the spirit of positivism and not negativism, that raises the question, what is in her to make her happy”?

“In seminettes we encouraged each other in those times of long hours and separation from family.” She reported. “We were there for each other to build one another up during this wonderful, blessed and yet trying experience.” “Always encourage our husbands,” she reminded. “They constantly need encouragement they are not only Pastors but men with daily struggles.”

“ Just like eating is a daily practice so is reading the Word.” “We cannot do any of this with out the Word of God feeding us.”