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The Excellent Wife

There isn’t a one of us who doesn’t desire to become an Excellent Wife. For some it appears to come so easily. They seem to be the perfect example of the Excellent Wife. Maybe their personality type displays these excellent qualities easily with what seems to be no effort on their part. Then again, age may be the key and over time they have been tempered and they have indeed learned how to become an Excellent Wife. Truly it is a process of becoming. We do seek to “become” but we will never fully arrive at the “perfect” until we’re HOME!! You’re in safe company here (we haven’t arrived yet!) as we journey together in our understanding of what an Excellent Wife is. During the 2011 year we will discuss the Foundational Truths of the Excellent Wife and also the Faithful Commitments of the Excellent Wife. New topics concerning these areas will be posted six times a year (every two months). Please join us.

WORDS TO INSPIRE

THE EXCELLENT WIFE – WHO CAN FIND?

Based on the book “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace

Even a cursory look at the Proverbs 31 wife, brings to mind the question “but who can meet this standard?” Trusted, kind, fears the Lord, blessed by her children, careful, good to her husband, etc. these and more are the traits of an excellent wife. Let’s ask ourselves…are these the qualities I want in my life? Now, be honest… Or perhaps the question you’re asking is: Is it even possible to reflect these qualities? The answer is YES – maybe difficult to accept, but the answer is YES. Any Christian woman who knows the Lord personally and obeys Him can become a godly woman and an excellent wife. “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His Own glory and EXCELLENCE.” (II Peter 1:3) God has broken the grip of sin in a woman who has truly committed her life to Him, and He has given her the supernatural power of the indwelling Holy Spirit to enable her to obey His Word and submit to His way and His will. (refer to John 14:16,17) Let us, each one of us, begin by humbly confessing that we have not been the wife that the Lord wants us to be and ask Him to teach us what we need to know so that our lives and our relationship with our husbands will glorify Him.

Let’s encourage ourselves as we begin this year - long topic “EXCELLENT WIFE” by regularly and faithfully praying that your marriage will glorify and please God. Be specific about sins, name weaknesses, confess, and ask God to change your weaknesses and your husband’s weaknesses into strengths. Ask the Lord to take the log out of your eye (Mt. 7:3-5). The question may arise, “How does God show us our sins?” By convicting us when we read His Word (Heb. 4:12) and by having someone tell you (Eph 5:25).

“having someone tell you….” That’s a tough one, isn’t it? The author calls it “mutual sanctification.” Just as God helps us as individuals become more like Christ, He also helps couples grow and mature and help each other become more like Christ. “If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.” (Mt 8:15) “You who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted.” (Gal. 6:1) Note that the reproof needs to be done privately, with gentleness, and with the motive of restoring the other person. If a husband or wife are unwilling to gently reprove one another, they may be more concerned about “the effect it could have on me” rather than on helping their spouse.

How then should we women respond to a husband’s reproof?
1. Be willing to consider whether the reproof could possible be valid?? J
2. Take time to think about the revelation.
3. Search the Scriptures to determine what the sin is and how to put it off. (Eph 4:22-24)

4. Ask your husband to give specific examples.
5. Confess your sin. (I Jn 1:9)
6. Stop doing the sin and start doing the right thing. (Heb. 12:11)
7. Do not justify or defend yourself.
8. Listen and learn from the reproof.
9. Consider the question, “What is God trying to teach me?”
Learn to see each other’s reproofs from God’s perspective and be grateful that your husband loves you so much that he wants to tell you his complaint instead of clamming up and becoming embittered. “Better is an open rebuke than love that is concealed.” Prov. 27:5 When a husband and wife love the Lord Jesus Christ, they will participate in and submit to the process of mutual sanctification. It helps each other become more like Christ so that each can glorify HIM more.

NEEDS OF THE REAL WORLD

Quietness of the Wife’s Spirit

My mother always said to me when I was young and first married, “Mary, a little bit of honey makes the medicine go down.” I knew she was right but my selfishness, differentness and self-rightousness would take over and I didn’t want to do what my mother suggested. She was suggesting that the honey is the Word of God and prayer. The best way to communicate to my husband in a biblical manner when conflict arose was in a Godly manner. I needed to find out what that Godly manner by using the Word of God and prayer as my guide. Unity is difficult because we all sin but it is one of the most important things to keep between a husband and wife.

My negative thoughts of: he is impossible, or it’s no use, or the problems are too big to be solved need to be changed into correct biblical thoughts. When these thoughts are turned to biblical thinking, then I can work through conflict. I need to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. (Romans 12:2) Instead my thoughts should be, “What can I do differently to make it easier for us to solve this conflict. My selfishness needed and still needs to be changed as it says in Philippians 2:3 says “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.” Selfishness only leads to conflict in a marriage.

It is amazing how continuous wrong thoughts without biblical thoughts influence our emotions and they take over and make it almost impossible to resolve the conflict. Our natural heart wants its own way.

I need to learn how to respond when conflict arises. I need humility, gentleness, patience and forbearance. God gets the credit when obedience to His Word and prayer achieves and maintains unity and peace with my husband.

CHECK IT OUT

Book Review
Treasures of Encouragement - Women Helping Women in the Church
by Sharon W Betters

During my husband's pastoral internship a dear godly woman shared with me this precious book on encouragement. Not only did my own heart need to be encouraged I was at a loss as to how to encourage others. As I read through the book statement after statement seemed to leap off the page to minister to my hurting heart. I found I wanted to underline or highlight passage after passage soaking up every word of encouragement to bathe my hurting heart. As Sharon states, Biblical encouragement is soul work.

Through events in her own life and those of other women, Sharon Betters shares how Christ has shown her what true Biblical encouragement can do to revive hope in hurting hearts. When we have Christ in us, we have the treasures of His encouragement at our fingertips. Each chapter opens with one or more true encouragement stories, an Encouragement Principle and six days of daily devotions. "Women who know Christ and the power of His resurrection realize that God does not leave us helpless in the face of difficulty. He miraculously transforms our meager offerings and uses even the simplest acts to bring about dramatic change. Although this book was written from the crucible of suffering, it is not about grief. It is about how God uses us--His children--to do soul work as we become His promise keepers. It is about the privilege of giving to others from the treasure chest of our salvation."

Encouragement Principle #5 - The directing force behind encouragement is God's Word. As the author states, " When we turn to Scripture, we enter the presence of God. And that is where we learn to face the life He has for us. We cheat our fellow believers if we neglect God's Word, for how can we minister in the name of Jesus if we don't know the power of that name in our own hearts? It is only through the knowledge of His Word and the power of His Spirit that we can become His promise keepers."

2 Corinthians 4:7 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." How often I have failed to speak encouragement to someone because I felt inadequate to share. As Sharon explains, the truth is we are inadequate, we are but jars of clay. It is when we allow God to break apart our jars of clay that He can display the treasure of the Gospel. I am learning that the process shows His power and not my weaknesses.

This is a book you will not only treasure for the work it does in your own heart, you will want to share the message with other women in your church too. It is not a quick read but solid food for the soul. I am so thankful and praise God for the lovely sister in Christ who shared this book with me

HELPFUL HINTS FOR HOME

EMERGENCY HOSPITALITY

Do you find that some of your most ministry focused hospitality moments are unplanned? The doorbell rings and you see a church member, neighbor, or friend who is hoping youhave a moment to talk? Often, these stop by visits catch us by surprise. Because life in the parsonage, or in your own home, is many times marked by unscheduled, but divinelyappointed moments, it’s helpful to have an “Emergency Hospitality Plan.”

Unless you are extremely organized, it is difficult to have the whole house “visitor ready” 24/7. It’s helpful to remember that when people stop to see you it’s because they want tosee YOU, not necessarily take a tour of your whole home -although that can be fun too.

One way I’ve found to take off some of the pressure of the unknown, is to simply try andkeep one room (in our case - the front living room) reasonably free of clutter and dust. I also try and keep one simple box of crackers and/or cookies on hand for hungry guests. Knowing that I have either a bottle of yummy fruit juice, or a box of herbal tea in thecupboard, takes the panic of figuring out what to serve a friend in need.

Another helpful hint is to have a child-friendly box filled with toys, coloring books, crayons, for little guests who may be along with parents who stop by. Having something toentertain their hands, gives more time to dedicate to find out what’s on Mom’s heart and to hear how you can be of help to her.

What about when your husband calls saying that someone is in need of a place to stay forthe evening? Even if you don’t have a room dedicated to being your guestroom, you canhave a “room in a box” by having a comfortable air matress, sheets, blankets, and a pillowall stored together for use on short notice. Adding a set of towels to the linens saves evenmore last minute time.

Hopefully you can enjoy and come to see drop-in visitors as opportunties to exercisehospitatily and to consider your home an ER for those in need of the encouragement wecan offer in Jesus.

IDEAS THAT WORK

HEALTH for BODY (Physical) SOUL (Mind, Will, Emotions) SPIRIT (Spiritual)

LIVE ENZYMES

They are vital for digestion, nutrition, health and longevity. As newborns, we produce 100 times more enzymes than an elderly person. As we age, production decreases. Our liver manufactures enzymes as needed. We task our liver to do this when we eat too much cooked food with “dead” enzymes. This taxes our immune system because it over taxes our liver: the principle immune organ. Low production of enzymes in the body leads to poor nutrition, aging, disease and death. Two sources of enzymes we can use to improve those levels are eating raw or steamed foods with live enzymes and enzyme supplements.

Live enzymes are in raw foods – vegetables, fruits, nuts, sprouted nuts, sprouted grains and sprouted legumes. Digestive enzyme supplements contain live enzymes. Raw foods and supplements help improve poor digestion and the absorption of nutrients from the foods we eat.

Cooked or processed food over 118 degrees destroys the enzymes in the food. Cooking contributes to nutrient loss. When cooked foods are eaten, our bodies react as if it has an acute illness. Within 30 minutes of eating the cooked food, our white blood cell count increases dramatically. Pasteurization, sterilization, radiation, freezing and microwaving makes food enzymes useless or alters the food’s structure. Cooked food still can be eaten but reduce it to 1/3 of your diet.

Fiber is essential for proper elimination. By middle age many people have about 20 pounds of undigested food in their colon. If nothing is done about it, our bodies begin a self-poisoning process, which weakens the immune system. Fiber is found in raw foods or grains such as ground flax.

Our bodies make 300,000 million new cells every minute. The question we need to ask is, “What are our bodies making those cells from?” Answer: “The food we give it!”

Resolve: Let’s eat responsibly!

Resources: Food Enzymes by Tonita d’Raye and http://www.hacres.com/

HERE'S WHAT'S COOKING

Chicken Fajitas with Spice Rub – Disney Family Fun

Ingredients
1 ripe avocado, cut into chunks and tossed in 1 teaspoon of lime juice
Salsa
Sour cream
Fresh ciliantro, chopped
4 teaspoons ground cumin
4 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut in half
1 small red or yellow pepper, sliced
1 onion, sliced
2 teaspoons olive oil
4 8-inch flour tortillas

Instructions
1. Place your toppings (avocado, salsa, sour cream and cilantro leaves) in separate bowls and set them on your table.
2. Next, make the rub. Combine the cumin, chili powder, oregano, and salt in a shallow bowl. Lightly rub the spices into the chicken with your fingertips until the meat is coated on all sides. Heat your grill to medium. Grill the chicken on both sides, just until cooked through, about 8 minutes. Remove from the heat, slice thinly, and set it on a platter.
3. While the chicken is cooking, toss the pepper and onion in the olive oil. Set them on the grill, using a vegetable screen, if desired, and cook for 5 to 8 minutes, turning once. Remove from the heat and set on the platter with the chicken.
4. Place the tortillas on the grill for 5 to 7 seconds on each side, turning with tongs, until hot. Set out the grilled chicken, pepper, and onion with the toppings and tortillas. Let guests assemble and roll their own fajitas. Serves 4 to 6

Chop Chop Salad – Disney Family Fun

Ingredients
1 romaine lettuce heart
4 to 6 slices thick-cut bacon, cooked until crisp, cooled, and chopped
1/2 pint grape tomatoes, halved
2 carrots, peeled and thinly sliced
1 yellow bell pepper, chopped
1 English cucumber, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Salad Dressing (we suggest Ranch or Blue Cheese--see above)

Instructions
1. Chop the lettuce heart into 1- to 2-inch pieces. Combine it with the bacon, other vegetables, and nuts in a large bowl and toss the mixture well.
2. Keep the salad chilled until serving time. Then toss it again with enough dressing to lightly coat the vegetables, and season it with salt and pepper. Serves 6.

TOGETHER THROUGH PRAYER

Dear Heavenly Father,
May we boldly place our trust in You so that we may confidently live for You. Help us to remember your Word that tells us our beauty is not merely outward, "but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:4 When we are trusting in your sovereign will for our marriages, homes, friendships, and business endeavors, we may know that quietness of spirit, knowing that nothing touches us without your permission. When moments of panic and anxiety set in, remind us Lord, that you are our Father. Quiet our hearts. May our marriage relationships reflect that strong, peaceful confidence that can be found only in You. Amen.